Wednesday, June 30, 2010
new little look
I changed my blog template...I don't know, what do you think? I also don't know much about changing the template that much...do you have any favorite gadgets/add-ons/widgets???
courage
I think that one of the things that I have learned in the past few years regarding my health journey is courage and fearlessness. I recently heard a description of fearlessness that makes so much sense. It's not about not fearing anything or not acknowledging fear, fearlessness is about knowing about the fear, it's also about knowing the fear and facing it.
I think in lots of times in my life i've heard reflections of...take care of your family, do your job...but when you have time, take care of yourself. It takes a lot of courage to let yourself be important...not in a way that disregards the rest of the world, but in a way that acknowledges the care that you need for your own body. I've been reflecting on this for awhile...this idea of loving our neighbors as ourselves. We need more love around the world. For ourselves and for others.
Love.
I think in lots of times in my life i've heard reflections of...take care of your family, do your job...but when you have time, take care of yourself. It takes a lot of courage to let yourself be important...not in a way that disregards the rest of the world, but in a way that acknowledges the care that you need for your own body. I've been reflecting on this for awhile...this idea of loving our neighbors as ourselves. We need more love around the world. For ourselves and for others.
Love.
Monday, June 28, 2010
all you have to do is breathe
I won't get tired of being reminded to breathe. In the P90X yoga the instructor reiterates the need to just breathe...some of the moves will be difficult, but all you do have to do is breathe.
I love it.
We will always be in the midst of change. That's the nature of life. We have a choice to welcome it or ignore it. Today I welcome it and see how it will change me and grow me.
I love it.
We will always be in the midst of change. That's the nature of life. We have a choice to welcome it or ignore it. Today I welcome it and see how it will change me and grow me.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
the other things i think about
Yes, I think health is attached to all parts of our lives...mind, body and soul. When one of those is out of whack, we are out of whack people and wacky people. You know those people in your lives who seem a little off and they sort of cyclone their mess everywhere? I've been that person before...sometimes I still am.
But I wanted to give you a little glimpse into other things that I am passionate about at this moment.
Circles and what they mean for the hope and future of organizations, our communities and our world
Marriage - K and I celebrated our 8 months of marriage, it's really fun, we are growing a lot
Family - I love my family, they came to visit this week, they recenter me in a way that no one else can.
Garden - I saw our first tomato today...small but it's there
Diversity/Inclusion - This has always been on my heart...let's be real, 100 years ago, what would a black woman be doing...and what would you be doing, let's start this conversation and figure out how to make our communities better places for everyone
Friends - I have been surrounded by amazing friends who are family
Healthy food - honoring the body
Justin Bieber - :)
You all love me.
But I wanted to give you a little glimpse into other things that I am passionate about at this moment.
Circles and what they mean for the hope and future of organizations, our communities and our world
Marriage - K and I celebrated our 8 months of marriage, it's really fun, we are growing a lot
Family - I love my family, they came to visit this week, they recenter me in a way that no one else can.
Garden - I saw our first tomato today...small but it's there
Diversity/Inclusion - This has always been on my heart...let's be real, 100 years ago, what would a black woman be doing...and what would you be doing, let's start this conversation and figure out how to make our communities better places for everyone
Friends - I have been surrounded by amazing friends who are family
Healthy food - honoring the body
Justin Bieber - :)
You all love me.
My journey...ups and downs
One of my friends posted a blog about experiencing a health plateau. If you look through some of my older posts from three years ago..you'll notice the shift of some my blog posts.
I had gotten very close to my goal weight, I was ten pounds away from losing some 97 pounds. I was on top of the world, but the last ten pounds were slipping through my fingers. At that time I couldn't name what was going on with me.
In that year of losing weight I had people commenting on my weight like never before, I had found new confidence, I was wearing new clothes, I got lots of stars and prizes at Weight Watchers. But then everything that I had been doing didn't seem to work anymore. It actually felt like my body was fighting against me and it was totally unfair.
Looking back at that time I wish I had taken a moment to really celebrate what I had accomplished beyond the scale. I lost my confidence as I actually had attached it to the number on the scale. I had put so much emphasis on the weight that I stopped paying attention to my emotions. I love WW and all that it has taught me, I love counting points/calories/portions, but what's more important for me and my health is paying attention to my emotions. There was a reason that I had gotten to 230 + pounds and that reason was still there in a girl who was almost 100 pounds lighter.
This part of my health journey is different...most of the changes I've seen have been internal and feel foundational. I encourage anyone who is struggling with a plateau to listen to their bodies...what is actually happening, what can you celebrate. Sometimes I got so involved in the end result of weight loss that I forgot that the most important part of the journey is the process and being present in it. That's life.
You got this!
I had gotten very close to my goal weight, I was ten pounds away from losing some 97 pounds. I was on top of the world, but the last ten pounds were slipping through my fingers. At that time I couldn't name what was going on with me.
In that year of losing weight I had people commenting on my weight like never before, I had found new confidence, I was wearing new clothes, I got lots of stars and prizes at Weight Watchers. But then everything that I had been doing didn't seem to work anymore. It actually felt like my body was fighting against me and it was totally unfair.
Looking back at that time I wish I had taken a moment to really celebrate what I had accomplished beyond the scale. I lost my confidence as I actually had attached it to the number on the scale. I had put so much emphasis on the weight that I stopped paying attention to my emotions. I love WW and all that it has taught me, I love counting points/calories/portions, but what's more important for me and my health is paying attention to my emotions. There was a reason that I had gotten to 230 + pounds and that reason was still there in a girl who was almost 100 pounds lighter.
This part of my health journey is different...most of the changes I've seen have been internal and feel foundational. I encourage anyone who is struggling with a plateau to listen to their bodies...what is actually happening, what can you celebrate. Sometimes I got so involved in the end result of weight loss that I forgot that the most important part of the journey is the process and being present in it. That's life.
You got this!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
sweet sweet saturdays.
I crave the pace of Saturdays. I don't know, some of the mornings I have remind me of playing YMCA soccer as a kid.
I would wake up, stumble around and find my shin guards, my socks, my uniform and wait for my parents and brother. Water bottle ready...are we bringing snacks, oranges. Off to the field. I love the magical feeling when you arrived on the field. If you ever played soccer, you know what it is...it was the best when you caught a morning game, the morning fog would start to burn, the sun start to rise, and you'd feel the humidity start to grow near your feet. If I was in one of the first games, the soccer complex would be empty, it was a glorious feeling. Ball out, gear down, and that first dribble and warm up. Gosh. I miss the days of soccer. I'm enjoying the world cup because just watching the game, my muscles have their sweet memory!
SO, this morning, I woke up, stumbling, got my gear to teach class. Grabbed my Itouch, water bottle and was in my car on my way. We live close to the gym and i'm thankful for that...cause I was running a little late. At the gym, checked in on foursquare, and made my way to the 3rd floor room...got the music playing and was in the zone.
I made it home, worked in the garden, finished my workout, ate my lunch...and am now trying to figure out what my week of blogs will be. And it's not even noon yet.
I love love love love Saturdays. It's the lucky day stuck between two days of....Friday...it's a work day...sort of want to sleep when I get home day...and then Sunday...oh tomorrow's Monday. Saturday lasts forever in my books and that's okay.
I would wake up, stumble around and find my shin guards, my socks, my uniform and wait for my parents and brother. Water bottle ready...are we bringing snacks, oranges. Off to the field. I love the magical feeling when you arrived on the field. If you ever played soccer, you know what it is...it was the best when you caught a morning game, the morning fog would start to burn, the sun start to rise, and you'd feel the humidity start to grow near your feet. If I was in one of the first games, the soccer complex would be empty, it was a glorious feeling. Ball out, gear down, and that first dribble and warm up. Gosh. I miss the days of soccer. I'm enjoying the world cup because just watching the game, my muscles have their sweet memory!
SO, this morning, I woke up, stumbling, got my gear to teach class. Grabbed my Itouch, water bottle and was in my car on my way. We live close to the gym and i'm thankful for that...cause I was running a little late. At the gym, checked in on foursquare, and made my way to the 3rd floor room...got the music playing and was in the zone.
I made it home, worked in the garden, finished my workout, ate my lunch...and am now trying to figure out what my week of blogs will be. And it's not even noon yet.
I love love love love Saturdays. It's the lucky day stuck between two days of....Friday...it's a work day...sort of want to sleep when I get home day...and then Sunday...oh tomorrow's Monday. Saturday lasts forever in my books and that's okay.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
my 30th Birthday
I am excited to turn 30 next year. Just being with my parents this weekend reaffirmed my excitement to turn 30. My parents have poured their lives out for me and my brother and every single life is a miracle. And I am so freaking thrilled to turn 30. Sometimes I wonder if people will take me more seriously, but you know what, if people don't take me seriously now, turning 30 won't change a thang...
I'm starting a new challenge for whole health and whoever is interested can join. In anticipation for my next birthday I am going to find healthy things that I want to do or continue doing....or stop doing as a gift to myself. Being healthy is the best gift I can give to myself and to others.
If you want to join me, let me know, stay tuned, i'll start blogging a bit more about it in a few days.
I'm starting a new challenge for whole health and whoever is interested can join. In anticipation for my next birthday I am going to find healthy things that I want to do or continue doing....or stop doing as a gift to myself. Being healthy is the best gift I can give to myself and to others.
If you want to join me, let me know, stay tuned, i'll start blogging a bit more about it in a few days.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
taking a deep breath and stepping back
what a week...it's only Tuesday.
really.
my right side of my face has found its familiar twitch.
i see the familiar faces of my mom and dad.
and they calm me down.
they are my favorites.
and they make me laugh.
and i have to take a real deep breath, hold it for a second, step back and exhale and think, i love my family.
really.
my right side of my face has found its familiar twitch.
i see the familiar faces of my mom and dad.
and they calm me down.
they are my favorites.
and they make me laugh.
and i have to take a real deep breath, hold it for a second, step back and exhale and think, i love my family.
Monday, June 21, 2010
hello summer...why do you cry?
Summer arrived in Omaha with a bang. Thunder, lightning and rain. I was amazed at the fury at which mother nature found us waiting for summer....I got up late this morning and recorded a quick video to congratulate everyone who participated on the 31 days til summer challenge.
It was then that I found it fitting that summer arrived with a rain shower, at least for me. I'm at home on a vacation day spending time with my mom and dad. There are times in our lives where we can say, I have achieved selflessness, x, y and z, but then as soon as I'm in relationship with someone those very things that I held onto as achieved come crashing down.
When rain shows up, it can wash away things that we're done with, things that should go off into the abyss of nature...and then it also exposes things that we thought we had dealt with. I find myself being shown grace and mercy every day through friends and family. I am allowing the grace of God to wash over me today...and invite me into this new season.
I saw summer with new eyes today and i'm glad. I did my p90x...which was 90 minutes of yoga...and dang, every single time I do it, there will be tears. I'm not sure what will be happening with me, but I'll only be by myself...I must face myself in those moments....my fragility, my utter dependence on God and God's creation. It's weird, during the stretches I'll see my leg and notice the little mole that i've had on my leg for my entire life...i'll notice the color of my skin...i'll notice my hair is getting longer...and then I'll hear my parents walking around upstairs in our house and I can't help but be incredibly grateful and thankful for God and the way that God created my family and then me.
And then, I do look at my skin, dang, it's kind of nice, looks like chocolate and I'm glad. I'm falling in love with myself more and more each day...not in that prideful don't mess with me way, but you know what, I've had years of looking at myself and yelling at my body for not doing things another way or not looking another way, but today, I choose to embrace the body God has given me....mind, body and soul and allow God to continue to mold me! If I can't love myself...then how in the world can I really love anyone else...treat your neighbor as yourself...thoughts? questions?
LOVE. me.
It was then that I found it fitting that summer arrived with a rain shower, at least for me. I'm at home on a vacation day spending time with my mom and dad. There are times in our lives where we can say, I have achieved selflessness, x, y and z, but then as soon as I'm in relationship with someone those very things that I held onto as achieved come crashing down.
When rain shows up, it can wash away things that we're done with, things that should go off into the abyss of nature...and then it also exposes things that we thought we had dealt with. I find myself being shown grace and mercy every day through friends and family. I am allowing the grace of God to wash over me today...and invite me into this new season.
I saw summer with new eyes today and i'm glad. I did my p90x...which was 90 minutes of yoga...and dang, every single time I do it, there will be tears. I'm not sure what will be happening with me, but I'll only be by myself...I must face myself in those moments....my fragility, my utter dependence on God and God's creation. It's weird, during the stretches I'll see my leg and notice the little mole that i've had on my leg for my entire life...i'll notice the color of my skin...i'll notice my hair is getting longer...and then I'll hear my parents walking around upstairs in our house and I can't help but be incredibly grateful and thankful for God and the way that God created my family and then me.
And then, I do look at my skin, dang, it's kind of nice, looks like chocolate and I'm glad. I'm falling in love with myself more and more each day...not in that prideful don't mess with me way, but you know what, I've had years of looking at myself and yelling at my body for not doing things another way or not looking another way, but today, I choose to embrace the body God has given me....mind, body and soul and allow God to continue to mold me! If I can't love myself...then how in the world can I really love anyone else...treat your neighbor as yourself...thoughts? questions?
LOVE. me.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Turbo Kick Tears + Gratitude
This morning I woke up around 7. I initially wanted to get up a little bit earlier, but 7 is what my body wanted and it's what it got. I can't convince my body to wake up any earlier than it can...it's fairly remarkable. I can sleep through all of Dolly's panting and wanting to be walked and all of that madness.
So, I get to the Y ready to teach Turbo. There weren't as many people as last week, but I attribute part of that to the College World Series, but those who showed up were great. My favorite workout instructor and more importantly one of Kenley and I's dear dear friends showed up. My friend inspired me to become an instructor and always pushed me to do more.
We have a fun relationship, we're more similar than either of us would probably even like to admit. We have dry humor and a strong sense of sarcasm. I think we're probably both headstrong and stubborn with a strong twist of emotion and passion. Okay, we are....not so much I think :) I met him while we were waiting for a class to start, neither of us were instructors yet, but we were both front row divas. I told him that we were probably just going to be friends. I usually know when I meet someone...friend or not friend. We were friends. K and I enjoy being friends with our friend and partner. They reflect love and inspire us to love more and well.
Anyway, in class we carry funny conversations with each other...sometimes accusing the other of doing something wrong or asking for help on something we don't know how to do something.
I walk in, a little bit tired, without my allergy medicine and without my notes. But i'm pretty sure I can figure things out. My friend corners me and says that he has a gift. To be honest, I'm thinking that it's going to be Turbo Round 41 or something. But my friend goes into a speech about being proud of me for doing the 31 day challenge...becoming a beachbody coach...losing a weight, etc. I was blown away. I was just talking to Mandy about the difficulty of accepting thanks. Or was it Marcia. It may have been both women. Ha. Anyway, tangent. So, we hugged. And he handed me a box that held a bodybugg display. Kenley and I bought me a bodybugg a few months ago and it's changed my life. I usually wait until our internet is working at home and upload my information, but now I can see things in real time.
I was floored. Got a little teary eyed, had my voice crack a little bit, but had to get it together to teach. But I've thought about it all day long and i'm sure that i'll continue to think about it for awhile. I was full of gratitude for so many things.
I am thankful that I have friends and family who care for me. They will call me out on things when they see something...they will encourage me when they see that I need it and they will love love love me. And in turn, I will do the same for them. My first instinct after receiving a gift and/or kind words is to immediately return them. I sort of keep track of most things. It's weird, I know. But today I had to be present in the moment and reflect on the past three or so years of my friendships with some people who have inspired me to be healthy. I can't imagine what it would be like if my parents hadn't told me to go to Weight Watchers...or that Brent didn't work on making sure that WMF employees could get a discount at the Y...or that I didn't start going to Body Attack...and that I didn't meet Noemi or Nick...or so many other people.
Who do you need to encourage today? Who do you need to thank? How do you need to receive today? And where is your gratitude?
I am incredibly thankful for so many people today and I receive their support.
So, I get to the Y ready to teach Turbo. There weren't as many people as last week, but I attribute part of that to the College World Series, but those who showed up were great. My favorite workout instructor and more importantly one of Kenley and I's dear dear friends showed up. My friend inspired me to become an instructor and always pushed me to do more.
We have a fun relationship, we're more similar than either of us would probably even like to admit. We have dry humor and a strong sense of sarcasm. I think we're probably both headstrong and stubborn with a strong twist of emotion and passion. Okay, we are....not so much I think :) I met him while we were waiting for a class to start, neither of us were instructors yet, but we were both front row divas. I told him that we were probably just going to be friends. I usually know when I meet someone...friend or not friend. We were friends. K and I enjoy being friends with our friend and partner. They reflect love and inspire us to love more and well.
Anyway, in class we carry funny conversations with each other...sometimes accusing the other of doing something wrong or asking for help on something we don't know how to do something.
I walk in, a little bit tired, without my allergy medicine and without my notes. But i'm pretty sure I can figure things out. My friend corners me and says that he has a gift. To be honest, I'm thinking that it's going to be Turbo Round 41 or something. But my friend goes into a speech about being proud of me for doing the 31 day challenge...becoming a beachbody coach...losing a weight, etc. I was blown away. I was just talking to Mandy about the difficulty of accepting thanks. Or was it Marcia. It may have been both women. Ha. Anyway, tangent. So, we hugged. And he handed me a box that held a bodybugg display. Kenley and I bought me a bodybugg a few months ago and it's changed my life. I usually wait until our internet is working at home and upload my information, but now I can see things in real time.
I was floored. Got a little teary eyed, had my voice crack a little bit, but had to get it together to teach. But I've thought about it all day long and i'm sure that i'll continue to think about it for awhile. I was full of gratitude for so many things.
I am thankful that I have friends and family who care for me. They will call me out on things when they see something...they will encourage me when they see that I need it and they will love love love me. And in turn, I will do the same for them. My first instinct after receiving a gift and/or kind words is to immediately return them. I sort of keep track of most things. It's weird, I know. But today I had to be present in the moment and reflect on the past three or so years of my friendships with some people who have inspired me to be healthy. I can't imagine what it would be like if my parents hadn't told me to go to Weight Watchers...or that Brent didn't work on making sure that WMF employees could get a discount at the Y...or that I didn't start going to Body Attack...and that I didn't meet Noemi or Nick...or so many other people.
Who do you need to encourage today? Who do you need to thank? How do you need to receive today? And where is your gratitude?
I am incredibly thankful for so many people today and I receive their support.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
31 things challenge Update
So...we're close to the challenge coming to an end...like I said before, I'm gathering up people for the next challenge, you in? want more info? let me know....
It'll be a birthday challenge...by your next birthday what fitness goals do you want to do or achieve...for me, i'll pick 30 things until my 30th birthday :)
Alright, my update.
Work up to 25 full pushups (I've been doing my p90x and working out, I can tell my chest muscles have gotten stronger, I might just try and do 25 pushups this week)
Track food daily (yep)
Try a new recipe weekly (yep)
Blog/tweet update daily (yep)
Share my goals with friends (yep)
Meditate/journal at least weekly (ish)
Take before/current/after pictures (need to take after)
Get 7 hours of sleep (uh oh, do naps count?)
Incorporate more weight-training into my schedule (love it)
Learn one old Turbo Kick round (this is hard!)
Eat at home more often than out (yep!)
Walk Dolly each day (ish)
Celebrate successes not weight based (yep!)
Run local stairs with friends weekly (yep! when it hasn't been raining)
Increase outdoor running mileage to 5 miles / run ** I can currently comfortably run 3 miles outside, would like to just get back to running around 5 (I might just try this tomorrow morning)
Finish reading In Defense of Food and Women Food and God (finished Women Food and God, definitely recommend)
Try P90x weekly (love it)
Call/email/text my family daily (stole that from Monica's) (almost daily!)
Stop hitting snooze (hopefully getting 7 hours of sleep will help, this is also stolen from Monica) (er)
Go to the Farmer's Market on Saturdays (have gone once, need to go again)
Stay committed to health even when on vacation/out of town (haven't gone out of town since Memorial Day)
Park 'n' walk when I go to stores (stole from Crocker, this will be hard when it's hot!) (i've done this more often than I thought...even when I go to the gym)
Turn my computer/cell phone off an hour before bed (um)
Set health intentions for the summer and year (setting the challenge is my first step)
Say when i'm full and stop eating (that's so hard!) (getting there)
Don't compare myself to others, enjoy my journey for myself (found so much freedom for that)
Make weekly menu and meals on Sundays (YEAH!)
Finish unpacking our house (need to do the last stuff!)
Clean/garden weekly (love it)
Encourage and read group members' blogs/tweets/updates each day (hopefully 'm doing that!)
Check in with group members to see how they are doing and to update how I'm doing (hopefully i'm doing that)
It'll be a birthday challenge...by your next birthday what fitness goals do you want to do or achieve...for me, i'll pick 30 things until my 30th birthday :)
Alright, my update.
Work up to 25 full pushups (I've been doing my p90x and working out, I can tell my chest muscles have gotten stronger, I might just try and do 25 pushups this week)
Track food daily (yep)
Try a new recipe weekly (yep)
Blog/tweet update daily (yep)
Share my goals with friends (yep)
Meditate/journal at least weekly (ish)
Take before/current/after pictures (need to take after)
Get 7 hours of sleep (uh oh, do naps count?)
Incorporate more weight-training into my schedule (love it)
Learn one old Turbo Kick round (this is hard!)
Eat at home more often than out (yep!)
Walk Dolly each day (ish)
Celebrate successes not weight based (yep!)
Run local stairs with friends weekly (yep! when it hasn't been raining)
Increase outdoor running mileage to 5 miles / run ** I can currently comfortably run 3 miles outside, would like to just get back to running around 5 (I might just try this tomorrow morning)
Finish reading In Defense of Food and Women Food and God (finished Women Food and God, definitely recommend)
Try P90x weekly (love it)
Call/email/text my family daily (stole that from Monica's) (almost daily!)
Stop hitting snooze (hopefully getting 7 hours of sleep will help, this is also stolen from Monica) (er)
Go to the Farmer's Market on Saturdays (have gone once, need to go again)
Stay committed to health even when on vacation/out of town (haven't gone out of town since Memorial Day)
Park 'n' walk when I go to stores (stole from Crocker, this will be hard when it's hot!) (i've done this more often than I thought...even when I go to the gym)
Turn my computer/cell phone off an hour before bed (um)
Set health intentions for the summer and year (setting the challenge is my first step)
Say when i'm full and stop eating (that's so hard!) (getting there)
Don't compare myself to others, enjoy my journey for myself (found so much freedom for that)
Make weekly menu and meals on Sundays (YEAH!)
Finish unpacking our house (need to do the last stuff!)
Clean/garden weekly (love it)
Encourage and read group members' blogs/tweets/updates each day (hopefully 'm doing that!)
Check in with group members to see how they are doing and to update how I'm doing (hopefully i'm doing that)
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
being black and healthy
One of my favorite bloggers mentioned this blog. The blog is about obesity in the black women community...and the author summarizes the blog as
Read the response by a fellow blogger. And tell me what you think.
I'm black and I am a woman. Part of my journey into health has been in discovering what it means to be a healthy black woman. A few years ago I was tipping the scales close to 230/240. I'm not too tall either. I didn't get any height from my 6 foot 4 inch dad. I got a little bit of my height from that and my mom's beautiful 5 foot 2 inch frame. Do the math and you get me, I'm what, MAYBE 5 foot 5...MAYBE. Okay, maybe 5 foot 4. Shoot. I'm short, but i'm okay.
I haven't been shy about my weight journey. I have shared that it's beyond the number on the scale and I feel like the blog author really neglects the issues that surround what it means that there is a high percentage of black women who struggle with their weight.
Another quote:
At what point do we find it appropriate to call out our sisters, brothers, our family on such an intimate issue without an ounce of grace or true, authentic accompaniment. If I went to any nutritionist or health advisor and he or she said that to me, I would give up.
Our health journey isn't just ours. As a black woman, I get to look at my rich history that is scattered all over the world. When I traveled to Sierra Leone, I remember seeing myself in the beautiful skin and curves of the women. I heard my family in the laughter shared in tight modes of transportation. And there was something beautiful about the bodies of the women and how they loved them.
This isn't about the weight. It never has been. It's about how anyone, me, you got to the point you are or were. You can lose all of the weight and be put in the size 2 category, but if you don't love yourself at the size you are...then you haven't figured anything out. You may be skinny, but you won't be happy. And if you aren't happy, then what's the point. No, for real.
We need to look into our history and see what's going on. Black women were objectified throughout the years of slavery...and even now in music videos...
Black women need to recover our bodies, our beauty, our emotions, our stories. And share them. We need more places to share our stories and explore what it means to be a black woman in the United States (or wherever) and what does it mean to be healthy.
And we need less posts that write THIS:
Do not be ashamed of your body. Embrace it and love it for what it is...at this point and at the next point. And like I've said, weight issues aren't about food in and food out...it's about what's going on with our emotions and dang, that blog author missed that big time. That's too bad. It seems like the blog gets plenty of traffic and it would be nice to see some good energy and inspiration go out from there.
Again.
Embrace your body today...and share your story and journey. And ask for help. You can do this.
Stop trying to justify your fatness. You are doing yourself, your mothers and your daughters a disservice by teaching them to accept their unhealthy frames.
Read the response by a fellow blogger. And tell me what you think.
I'm black and I am a woman. Part of my journey into health has been in discovering what it means to be a healthy black woman. A few years ago I was tipping the scales close to 230/240. I'm not too tall either. I didn't get any height from my 6 foot 4 inch dad. I got a little bit of my height from that and my mom's beautiful 5 foot 2 inch frame. Do the math and you get me, I'm what, MAYBE 5 foot 5...MAYBE. Okay, maybe 5 foot 4. Shoot. I'm short, but i'm okay.
I haven't been shy about my weight journey. I have shared that it's beyond the number on the scale and I feel like the blog author really neglects the issues that surround what it means that there is a high percentage of black women who struggle with their weight.
Another quote:
My goal here is to get you to accept that most of you don’t really have a handle on your health and that you were NOT born to look like a hippo. You have a problem with food and you need to practice healthier eating habits and take better care of your health.
At what point do we find it appropriate to call out our sisters, brothers, our family on such an intimate issue without an ounce of grace or true, authentic accompaniment. If I went to any nutritionist or health advisor and he or she said that to me, I would give up.
Our health journey isn't just ours. As a black woman, I get to look at my rich history that is scattered all over the world. When I traveled to Sierra Leone, I remember seeing myself in the beautiful skin and curves of the women. I heard my family in the laughter shared in tight modes of transportation. And there was something beautiful about the bodies of the women and how they loved them.
This isn't about the weight. It never has been. It's about how anyone, me, you got to the point you are or were. You can lose all of the weight and be put in the size 2 category, but if you don't love yourself at the size you are...then you haven't figured anything out. You may be skinny, but you won't be happy. And if you aren't happy, then what's the point. No, for real.
We need to look into our history and see what's going on. Black women were objectified throughout the years of slavery...and even now in music videos...
Black women need to recover our bodies, our beauty, our emotions, our stories. And share them. We need more places to share our stories and explore what it means to be a black woman in the United States (or wherever) and what does it mean to be healthy.
And we need less posts that write THIS:
To you unhealthy size 16 women who write all these “We aren’t all a size two posts”. Please sit down and just accept that you are overweight and stop glorifying it. If you are heavier than your man (unless you just like your men bony) then you should be ashamed of yourself.
Do not be ashamed of your body. Embrace it and love it for what it is...at this point and at the next point. And like I've said, weight issues aren't about food in and food out...it's about what's going on with our emotions and dang, that blog author missed that big time. That's too bad. It seems like the blog gets plenty of traffic and it would be nice to see some good energy and inspiration go out from there.
Again.
Embrace your body today...and share your story and journey. And ask for help. You can do this.
where I am
I am in the midst of inspiring women and men.
There are times when I'm very super aware of the people who surround me. Their stories and inspiration rub off on me and I want to be the best I can be (through Christ who strengthens me ofcourse)
So, right now I'm allowing some amazing women to inspire me...one is a student who is focused like no one's business. She takes her Saturdays and commits to putting her head in the books...discipline.
I have a friend who is getting married in a few months, she's an amazing dancer and wants to commit to her health as she enters into this season of her life. commitment.
And I have to take a glimpse in the mirror and see who I am and where I am. I could tell you 34343 things that I would change about myself (inside and outside), but i'm letting myself be where I am today. And that's okay. I can only take it a day at a time...and sometimes I can only take it a day at a time :)
There are times when I'm very super aware of the people who surround me. Their stories and inspiration rub off on me and I want to be the best I can be (through Christ who strengthens me ofcourse)
So, right now I'm allowing some amazing women to inspire me...one is a student who is focused like no one's business. She takes her Saturdays and commits to putting her head in the books...discipline.
I have a friend who is getting married in a few months, she's an amazing dancer and wants to commit to her health as she enters into this season of her life. commitment.
And I have to take a glimpse in the mirror and see who I am and where I am. I could tell you 34343 things that I would change about myself (inside and outside), but i'm letting myself be where I am today. And that's okay. I can only take it a day at a time...and sometimes I can only take it a day at a time :)
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Blind Date Update
So i've been loving my natural hair for a little over a week. We're no longer just dating...we're in a full-blown relationship. I didn't know that I would like my hair so much. I'm still getting to know the ins and outs of taking care of this hair. It gets a little dryer a little quicker.
I have noticed the following....
I feel compelled to wear makeup and/or jewelry every day. It's weird...I don't know if it's part of trying to get used to having short hair and understanding my feminine outside of my hair length.
I get surprised to see myself in the mirror each morning.
I like to take the time to care and nurture my hair.
I take a lot of self-portraits of my hair...I might've taken one photo/day last week...:)
Do you have natural, unprocessed hair? Anyone can answer. What are the ways you express your creativity in your hair without products?
I have noticed the following....
I feel compelled to wear makeup and/or jewelry every day. It's weird...I don't know if it's part of trying to get used to having short hair and understanding my feminine outside of my hair length.
I get surprised to see myself in the mirror each morning.
I like to take the time to care and nurture my hair.
I take a lot of self-portraits of my hair...I might've taken one photo/day last week...:)
Do you have natural, unprocessed hair? Anyone can answer. What are the ways you express your creativity in your hair without products?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Five Years
It's been five years since I started at WMF.
I can't believe that time has flown by so quickly.
In five years I have:
* fallen in love, gotten engaged, gotten married and fallen in love again and again
* had my heart broken for our friends overseas
* had people from all around the world support me through prayers and finances
* had the opportunity to visit our friends around the world....ALL around the world
* learned more and more and more about how much I don't know
* found my heart for health, diversity/inclusion
* cut my hair and gone all naturaaaal
* made new friends and kept old friends
* been humbled by the outpouring of love and support by friends
* been encouraged to allow my heart to feel the pain of the world...
* read so many books
* learned I need good rhythms
* learned I need to follow those rhythms
In five years...I have been a student of life....of lives of my friends overseas and of friends right here in my zipcode.
continuing to learn.
I can't believe that time has flown by so quickly.
In five years I have:
* fallen in love, gotten engaged, gotten married and fallen in love again and again
* had my heart broken for our friends overseas
* had people from all around the world support me through prayers and finances
* had the opportunity to visit our friends around the world....ALL around the world
* learned more and more and more about how much I don't know
* found my heart for health, diversity/inclusion
* cut my hair and gone all naturaaaal
* made new friends and kept old friends
* been humbled by the outpouring of love and support by friends
* been encouraged to allow my heart to feel the pain of the world...
* read so many books
* learned I need good rhythms
* learned I need to follow those rhythms
In five years...I have been a student of life....of lives of my friends overseas and of friends right here in my zipcode.
continuing to learn.
Monday, June 7, 2010
p90x yoga and tears...
I need to get ready for dinner....we're having Daphne and Caleb over to celebrate Daphne's birthday. I love birthday seasons. So I'm in my workout clothes getting ready to change...and make some swiss chard. Nomity nom nom nom.
I just finished the p90x yoga. I didn't realize how much I needed it. I love yoga and just haven't made it a priority in my gym schedule. I've enjoyed these first four days of p90x...and after yesterday's workout I needed to just stretch and breath. My body was sore and it was tired, it was much more tired than I realized. So as I'm sitting and stretching and going into poses, I noticed something....
Monday nights have been my body attack nights for years...if i'm not sick. this was one of the first times that I was actually feeling my muscles. Some of them are more hidden than others by fat and peanut butter ;). But, there were there. I began to cry. I was overwhelmed by God and God's creation. I've been surrounded by new babies and children who are growing up and I adore them...and I asked one parent, I wonder if your son knows what's going on. We all adore him so much that we just want to spend time with him. I still have those same friends and family members who love me for me and want to spend time with me. I imagined myself as a kid and I wondered what group of my parents' families and friends came around and held me and hugged on me when I didn't even know who they were....and how many of those same people are around and cheering me on now in different ways.
There is no way that I could have gotten to where I am without the friends and family in my life. I was overwhelmed with gratitude.
So, there's me, in our little basement. Dolly the dog just resting and snoring...and me, seriously in tears trying to do different poses. For the first time in awhile I was thankful for the body that God gave me. I mean, I'm not going around being all like I dont' like this body, but I haven't in awhile, stopped and said thank you. I took deep breaths and listened to the instructor on the video. He said that some of the people were really sweaty, that they were having storms all up and through their muscles, but they were breathing.
Sometimes, I need to remember to be thankful.
and breathe.
I just finished the p90x yoga. I didn't realize how much I needed it. I love yoga and just haven't made it a priority in my gym schedule. I've enjoyed these first four days of p90x...and after yesterday's workout I needed to just stretch and breath. My body was sore and it was tired, it was much more tired than I realized. So as I'm sitting and stretching and going into poses, I noticed something....
Monday nights have been my body attack nights for years...if i'm not sick. this was one of the first times that I was actually feeling my muscles. Some of them are more hidden than others by fat and peanut butter ;). But, there were there. I began to cry. I was overwhelmed by God and God's creation. I've been surrounded by new babies and children who are growing up and I adore them...and I asked one parent, I wonder if your son knows what's going on. We all adore him so much that we just want to spend time with him. I still have those same friends and family members who love me for me and want to spend time with me. I imagined myself as a kid and I wondered what group of my parents' families and friends came around and held me and hugged on me when I didn't even know who they were....and how many of those same people are around and cheering me on now in different ways.
There is no way that I could have gotten to where I am without the friends and family in my life. I was overwhelmed with gratitude.
So, there's me, in our little basement. Dolly the dog just resting and snoring...and me, seriously in tears trying to do different poses. For the first time in awhile I was thankful for the body that God gave me. I mean, I'm not going around being all like I dont' like this body, but I haven't in awhile, stopped and said thank you. I took deep breaths and listened to the instructor on the video. He said that some of the people were really sweaty, that they were having storms all up and through their muscles, but they were breathing.
Sometimes, I need to remember to be thankful.
and breathe.
friends
I met my friend Noemi two years ago....we sat in the basement of the YMCA during a tornado storm. I knew that I wanted to be friends with her, but I wasn't sure how to approach her. Making new friends is really different when you're out of school :) But we were stuck in the basement of the Y with tornado sirens....and we were forced to talk. :)
AND. We were quick friends. We've been friends ever since. It was the perfect timing. Kenley was moving in a few months and I didn't know I needed a friend like Noemi. She talks me off of edges, reminds me of things I tell her to remind me of, she makes me laugh and she humors me. And inspires me.
I'm so thankful for al of my friends...I don't tell them often enough....maybe i'll try and focus on some of my gratitude and friendships this week.
AND. We were quick friends. We've been friends ever since. It was the perfect timing. Kenley was moving in a few months and I didn't know I needed a friend like Noemi. She talks me off of edges, reminds me of things I tell her to remind me of, she makes me laugh and she humors me. And inspires me.
I'm so thankful for al of my friends...I don't tell them often enough....maybe i'll try and focus on some of my gratitude and friendships this week.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
immediate soreness
I just need to let you know...I'm already sore from today's workout. I did p90x and then ran stairs...some arm exercises...some sprints....all with some of my favorite people in the world.
And.
I am already sore. I mean, REALLY sore. I sort of want to cry a little bit. I don't know if I'm going to make it to bed tonight. I might just fall asleep at this table.
The workout was really great though. I was reminded of my high school soccer practice days...you know when your face is so sweaty and afterwards you feel your face and it's like salty and all.
You know what i'm talking about. It hurts so good.
And.
I am already sore. I mean, REALLY sore. I sort of want to cry a little bit. I don't know if I'm going to make it to bed tonight. I might just fall asleep at this table.
The workout was really great though. I was reminded of my high school soccer practice days...you know when your face is so sweaty and afterwards you feel your face and it's like salty and all.
You know what i'm talking about. It hurts so good.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
the cheetos beside me
I just finished my breakfast/lunch (shakeology with peanut butter, a little oatmeal and almond milk)...and Kenley has some of his snacks beside me....almond joy, reese's cups and cheetos...I've eaten a few cheetos, but had to ask myself...why am I eating these?
I am an emotional eater...who eats when i'm happy, sad....and bored. I'm sitting at my computer so I can write my blogs for the week....and when I want/need to be distracted, I go to food.
But today I'm going to eat when i'm hungry and stop when i'm full.
I went to the farmer's market today with a friend/coworker Jeff...and I bought some swiss chard. YUM YUM...I hope to saute it later and top it with a nice piece of fish. I also got some butter lettuce. Nom nom nom. I loved being around the farmer's market because it is a huge collection of people who provide local, close to farm ingredients to make beautiful and whole meals. I get really giddy when I get to the farmers market because I want them all to succeed. ALL of them! Visit your local Farmers Market!
I am an emotional eater...who eats when i'm happy, sad....and bored. I'm sitting at my computer so I can write my blogs for the week....and when I want/need to be distracted, I go to food.
But today I'm going to eat when i'm hungry and stop when i'm full.
I went to the farmer's market today with a friend/coworker Jeff...and I bought some swiss chard. YUM YUM...I hope to saute it later and top it with a nice piece of fish. I also got some butter lettuce. Nom nom nom. I loved being around the farmer's market because it is a huge collection of people who provide local, close to farm ingredients to make beautiful and whole meals. I get really giddy when I get to the farmers market because I want them all to succeed. ALL of them! Visit your local Farmers Market!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
My 31 things...how am I doing?
Work up to 25 full pushups (I'm working up to it. Realized that this morning when I was doing some of the p90x pushups. OMG)
Track food daily (this is one of the hardest ones, when I'm having an off day - notice I said off, not a bad day - I don't want to track. I don't want to see the mess I've made, but because I believe in the process, I will track each day and even share it with you...gasp, gulp)
Try a new recipe weekly (I feel like i'm always making recipes up, I should maybe post them online)
Blog/tweet update daily (check)
Share my goals with friends (check)
Meditate/journal at least weekly (seriously, why haven't I done this? We have a glorious sunroom JUST for that...I will do it this week)
Take before/current/after pictures (took before, need to take current)
Get 7 hours of sleep (getting it)
Incorporate more weight-training into my schedule (getting it)
Learn one old Turbo Kick round (this is harder than I thought. I'm trying to keep a lot of rounds in my head)
Eat at home more often than out (getting there)
Walk Dolly each day (uh, need to be better)
Celebrate successes not weight based (need to do that)
Run local stairs with friends weekly (check...last week was our off week b/c of the holiday)
Increase outdoor running mileage to 5 miles / run ** I can currently comfortably run 3 miles outside, would like to just get back to running around 5 (getting there...)
Finish reading In Defense of Food and Women Food and God (see journal/meditating)
Try P90x weekly (getting there)
Call/email/text my family daily (stole that from Monica's) (fascinating, I've talked to my family a lot these weeks)
Stop hitting snooze (hopefully getting 7 hours of sleep will help, this is also stolen from Monica) (should've said stop resetting my alarm :))
Go to the Farmer's Market on Saturdays (will try to go on the Sunday one)
Stay committed to health even when on vacation/out of town (see last post)
Park 'n' walk when I go to stores (stole from Crocker, this will be hard when it's hot!) (pretty good at that)
Turn my computer/cell phone off an hour before bed (noticed that I'm doing it earlier)
Set health intentions for the summer and year (need to do)
Say when i'm full and stop eating (that's so hard!) (need to continue doing)
Don't compare myself to others, enjoy my journey for myself (catching myself)
Make weekly menu and meals on Sundays (will do on Sunday)
Finish unpacking our house (UM YEAH!!!!!!!)
Clean/garden weekly (UM YEAAAAAH!)
Encourage and read group members' blogs/tweets/updates each day (one of my favorite things)
Check in with group members to see how they are doing and to update how I'm doing (need to do more - that means you'll probably get an email from me soon :)
Track food daily (this is one of the hardest ones, when I'm having an off day - notice I said off, not a bad day - I don't want to track. I don't want to see the mess I've made, but because I believe in the process, I will track each day and even share it with you...gasp, gulp)
Try a new recipe weekly (I feel like i'm always making recipes up, I should maybe post them online)
Blog/tweet update daily (check)
Share my goals with friends (check)
Meditate/journal at least weekly (seriously, why haven't I done this? We have a glorious sunroom JUST for that...I will do it this week)
Take before/current/after pictures (took before, need to take current)
Get 7 hours of sleep (getting it)
Incorporate more weight-training into my schedule (getting it)
Learn one old Turbo Kick round (this is harder than I thought. I'm trying to keep a lot of rounds in my head)
Eat at home more often than out (getting there)
Walk Dolly each day (uh, need to be better)
Celebrate successes not weight based (need to do that)
Run local stairs with friends weekly (check...last week was our off week b/c of the holiday)
Increase outdoor running mileage to 5 miles / run ** I can currently comfortably run 3 miles outside, would like to just get back to running around 5 (getting there...)
Finish reading In Defense of Food and Women Food and God (see journal/meditating)
Try P90x weekly (getting there)
Call/email/text my family daily (stole that from Monica's) (fascinating, I've talked to my family a lot these weeks)
Stop hitting snooze (hopefully getting 7 hours of sleep will help, this is also stolen from Monica) (should've said stop resetting my alarm :))
Go to the Farmer's Market on Saturdays (will try to go on the Sunday one)
Stay committed to health even when on vacation/out of town (see last post)
Park 'n' walk when I go to stores (stole from Crocker, this will be hard when it's hot!) (pretty good at that)
Turn my computer/cell phone off an hour before bed (noticed that I'm doing it earlier)
Set health intentions for the summer and year (need to do)
Say when i'm full and stop eating (that's so hard!) (need to continue doing)
Don't compare myself to others, enjoy my journey for myself (catching myself)
Make weekly menu and meals on Sundays (will do on Sunday)
Finish unpacking our house (UM YEAH!!!!!!!)
Clean/garden weekly (UM YEAAAAAH!)
Encourage and read group members' blogs/tweets/updates each day (one of my favorite things)
Check in with group members to see how they are doing and to update how I'm doing (need to do more - that means you'll probably get an email from me soon :)
31 things challenge: Weekends/Vacations
Seriously, let's be honest, I love vacations. I love beaches. I love rivers. I love hotels. Get me out of my routine and I'm a new person. I'm relaxed. And then I sort of get lax on some of my health commitments. I was surprised that I was able to stick to being healthy on my vacation. I still work up early on Saturday and worked out in the hotel gym. I looked at the menus of the restaurants we were going to. We walked around STL instead of driving. We walked up stairs instead of the elevator. I enjoyed my food in good bites. I didn't track everything I ate. I tried not to feel guilty and I feel like I was able to capture part of the purpose of the challenge for me....enjoy the very moment that I am in. I listened to my body and heard it talk to me quite often.
I was in tears during some of Jill Scott's songs. I watched this woman with beautiful natural hair and some amazing curves and she was thrilled to be alive. I want to be thrilled to be alive...on the weekends and the weekdays. I need to marry the best parts of my weekends and my weekdays...relax, grace + listening to my body and watching what I eat/don't eat and figure out why.
I was in tears during some of Jill Scott's songs. I watched this woman with beautiful natural hair and some amazing curves and she was thrilled to be alive. I want to be thrilled to be alive...on the weekends and the weekdays. I need to marry the best parts of my weekends and my weekdays...relax, grace + listening to my body and watching what I eat/don't eat and figure out why.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I'm kind of funny
Things that have made me laugh recently:
Driving in STL, I see some letters on top of each other.
I read it out loud as....NOOOOO or NEW...and looked at Kenley kind of confused.
Kenley said...that's the sign for the zoo. The zoo.
Oopsies.
It's storming here in Omaha. I sent an email to the office (from their friendly neighborhood meteorologist) that reminded them to take care in the weather. I get home from the gym and running around in the rain and take a shower. All I could think about was all of the weather and natural disaster warnings that I've heard throughout my life. At one point I wanted to stop, drop and roll and then a huge clap of thunder hit and I got out. I'm pretty sure that you aren't supposed to shower when it's lightning or something.
Funny.
Driving in STL, I see some letters on top of each other.
I read it out loud as....NOOOOO or NEW...and looked at Kenley kind of confused.
Kenley said...that's the sign for the zoo. The zoo.
Oopsies.
It's storming here in Omaha. I sent an email to the office (from their friendly neighborhood meteorologist) that reminded them to take care in the weather. I get home from the gym and running around in the rain and take a shower. All I could think about was all of the weather and natural disaster warnings that I've heard throughout my life. At one point I wanted to stop, drop and roll and then a huge clap of thunder hit and I got out. I'm pretty sure that you aren't supposed to shower when it's lightning or something.
Funny.
I fell in love....hard
I fell in love hard...with my hair. Seriously. I was nervous that I wouldn't like my hair so I did the following:
• I took the day off after my haircut. Kenley and I were leaving for a much needed vacation on Friday so I needed to take the day off anyway. I was nervous to go out in public, but I was surprised that it was okay.
• I wanted to cut my hair before seeing one of my natural hair inspirations, Jill Scott.
• Purchased some hair products before cutting my hair...I got used to how they felt. And I did a lot of prep by reading some of my favorite blogs.
• Had dreams about my haircut the night before
After I got my hair cut, I rushed home. I needed to see someone's real reaction. Kenley liked it. And I wanted to see for myself in the safety of my bathroom, I didn't just like it, I loved it.
• I took the day off after my haircut. Kenley and I were leaving for a much needed vacation on Friday so I needed to take the day off anyway. I was nervous to go out in public, but I was surprised that it was okay.
• I wanted to cut my hair before seeing one of my natural hair inspirations, Jill Scott.
• Purchased some hair products before cutting my hair...I got used to how they felt. And I did a lot of prep by reading some of my favorite blogs.
• Had dreams about my haircut the night before
After I got my hair cut, I rushed home. I needed to see someone's real reaction. Kenley liked it. And I wanted to see for myself in the safety of my bathroom, I didn't just like it, I loved it.
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