mom likes to watch the twilight zone...as do my brother and i. with the introduction of tvland and the scifi channel, the twilight zone is the new law and order....ever so often. this weekend there is a 48 hour marathon of the twilight zone. i've been able to catch a couple. kenley and i watched one about a man who was able to stop time with the click of a stop watch. he was able to continue interacting in and out of time while everyone else was frozen in one moment.
as the end of the year approaches i can see moments when i would have loved to have been able to stop time, for just a moment. there are weeks, months, days, hours that i would replay over and and over...and there are some that i would maybe fast forward through. but that's not how life works...fortunately. at the end of the twilight zone episode the guy ends up breaking the stopwatch...and that's never fun, time has stopped and no one can interact with you.
so i'm very thankful that i've been able to journey through life with you all. it would not have been fun without you.
here's to a great year and a great 08.
- nomad lounge with sarah kim
- body attack with the front row divas
- the record number of times seeing kenley in omaha and new york
- welcoming jason to omaha for a moment
- saying goodbye and welcome back to the htz
- spending time with my family
- reading lots of good books
- weight watchers
- meeting new friends
- sushi
- running
- radiator heat
- my neighbor
- watching daphne and caleb fall more in love
- tights
- uncontrollable giggles while doing pushups with kenley
- letters, lots of letters
- feeling the warm embrace of friends around the world
- finally rooming with stephanie at the staff retreat
- booty zoom, need i say more
- webcam - feel the noise
- pomegranates
- cass street roommates
- togetherness tuesdays/thursdays
- finally spending new years with kenley
- being able to navigate myself to nyc on my own
- random phone calls
- omaha friends ahhh
- dtw jrc - sushi and starbucks
- brent and the yellow arrow
- snowmaha
- laughing
- crying
- dreaming
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
timber
so. in youth group i had to come up with an embarrassing story...from there the youth group would pick out a nick name to go along with the story.
if you know me, you know that i'm, you know, not super graceful. there have been plenty of times when i've been standing completely still and fallen on the ground...or i've walked up the stairs and fallen up them, too.
so tonight. i fell up the stairs.
and my mom said. timber.
oh snap.
more later. i'm at my kentucky home. and i'm happy.
if you know me, you know that i'm, you know, not super graceful. there have been plenty of times when i've been standing completely still and fallen on the ground...or i've walked up the stairs and fallen up them, too.
so tonight. i fell up the stairs.
and my mom said. timber.
oh snap.
more later. i'm at my kentucky home. and i'm happy.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
january prayer letter!
Hello friends and family!
The ball has dropped. The last words of “Auld Lang Syne” have faded away. The ashes from the fireworks have settled. And it’s 2008. We begin using our new calendars. We laugh a little bit when we still sign something 2007. We even make some resolutions. With a simple movement of a clock’s secondhand, the entire world is swept into a fresh, new year.
A new year marks a new beginning. And when I think of that, I get a bit of a knot in my stomach, it’s a mixture of intimidation and exhilaration. As I approach 2008, I hesitate and then gingerly approach the first contact of the new year with my words, my thoughts, my actions, my prayers.
So, with both intimidation and exhilaration here’s my first prayer letter of the year. Writing this letter is like looking at the first pages of a new, empty journal. I begin wondering what the tone should be and deliberate about what I should include.
If I look back at my prayer letters from last year I’m not sure I would be able to identify a consistent tone or story that I conveyed. My letters were a bit scattered. They outlined a bit of a crisis with my financial support. And in the midst of that, I would give hurried reflections and updates of my life in Omaha. Thank you for reading through my letters and finding the heart of what I was communicating. Thank you even more for accompanying me through last year. Your support and prayers encouraged me and sustained me through 2007.
This year my desire for my prayer letters is that they are able to have somewhat of a natural flow to them, telling a story of my vocation, struggles, celebrations and life in Omaha. I want my letters to paint an accurate picture of who I am in Omaha and at Word Made Flesh. If I made a portrait of myself based on last year’s prayer letters, I think that there would be broad strokes of crises, fluster, worry and growth. Instead, I want to have a portrait with broad strokes of God’s grace, sustenance, mercy, love, joy, justice, freedom and salvation. I want these strokes to be the foundation of not only my life but of these prayer letters.
Within the body of my prayer letter, I want to include how God’s grace, sustenance, mercy, love, joy and other characteristics are playing out in my life and in the lives of those in my community. And I will also include the times of suffering, loneliness, desperation that I’ve seen in my life and in the lives of those in my community and those whom they serve among. But I want those to be seen through the lens of God’s character.
At the end of my letters, I want you to have a sense of how I’m doing: spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially, vocationally, relationally…you get my drift. Hopefully at the end of these letters you will not only have a clear idea of how you can pray for me and/or support me, but you will also have a clear sense of the invitation I want to continue extending to you: partner with me in what God is doing around the world with Word Made Flesh.
You all have made 2007 a sweet year. From phone calls, emails to letters, you all have invited me into your lives, and I love it. I’ve been able to celebrate the anticipation of a new grandbaby. I’ve been able to share in the excitement of new jobs. I’ve been able to be inspired by visits from friends. I’ve been able to observe selfless love of families in Omaha. I would not be where I am without the unique ways you have linked arms with me in my life. You all have carried me when I’ve been exhausted. You all have prayed for me when you thought of me. You all have sent money by faith to support the ministry of Word Made Flesh. You all are some of the most beautiful expressions of God’s goodness and grace in my life. Thank you for allowing me to observe that.
Here’s to an exciting year together,
Love you,
jara
The ball has dropped. The last words of “Auld Lang Syne” have faded away. The ashes from the fireworks have settled. And it’s 2008. We begin using our new calendars. We laugh a little bit when we still sign something 2007. We even make some resolutions. With a simple movement of a clock’s secondhand, the entire world is swept into a fresh, new year.
A new year marks a new beginning. And when I think of that, I get a bit of a knot in my stomach, it’s a mixture of intimidation and exhilaration. As I approach 2008, I hesitate and then gingerly approach the first contact of the new year with my words, my thoughts, my actions, my prayers.
So, with both intimidation and exhilaration here’s my first prayer letter of the year. Writing this letter is like looking at the first pages of a new, empty journal. I begin wondering what the tone should be and deliberate about what I should include.
If I look back at my prayer letters from last year I’m not sure I would be able to identify a consistent tone or story that I conveyed. My letters were a bit scattered. They outlined a bit of a crisis with my financial support. And in the midst of that, I would give hurried reflections and updates of my life in Omaha. Thank you for reading through my letters and finding the heart of what I was communicating. Thank you even more for accompanying me through last year. Your support and prayers encouraged me and sustained me through 2007.
This year my desire for my prayer letters is that they are able to have somewhat of a natural flow to them, telling a story of my vocation, struggles, celebrations and life in Omaha. I want my letters to paint an accurate picture of who I am in Omaha and at Word Made Flesh. If I made a portrait of myself based on last year’s prayer letters, I think that there would be broad strokes of crises, fluster, worry and growth. Instead, I want to have a portrait with broad strokes of God’s grace, sustenance, mercy, love, joy, justice, freedom and salvation. I want these strokes to be the foundation of not only my life but of these prayer letters.
Within the body of my prayer letter, I want to include how God’s grace, sustenance, mercy, love, joy and other characteristics are playing out in my life and in the lives of those in my community. And I will also include the times of suffering, loneliness, desperation that I’ve seen in my life and in the lives of those in my community and those whom they serve among. But I want those to be seen through the lens of God’s character.
At the end of my letters, I want you to have a sense of how I’m doing: spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially, vocationally, relationally…you get my drift. Hopefully at the end of these letters you will not only have a clear idea of how you can pray for me and/or support me, but you will also have a clear sense of the invitation I want to continue extending to you: partner with me in what God is doing around the world with Word Made Flesh.
You all have made 2007 a sweet year. From phone calls, emails to letters, you all have invited me into your lives, and I love it. I’ve been able to celebrate the anticipation of a new grandbaby. I’ve been able to share in the excitement of new jobs. I’ve been able to be inspired by visits from friends. I’ve been able to observe selfless love of families in Omaha. I would not be where I am without the unique ways you have linked arms with me in my life. You all have carried me when I’ve been exhausted. You all have prayed for me when you thought of me. You all have sent money by faith to support the ministry of Word Made Flesh. You all are some of the most beautiful expressions of God’s goodness and grace in my life. Thank you for allowing me to observe that.
Here’s to an exciting year together,
Love you,
jara
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
interesting article about women, weight and body image
Maybe our New Year's resolution should be to love ourselves enough to be the healthiest we can be, instead of constantly beating ourselves up that we're not a real size 2. That's something to think about as we squeeze into our dress jeans and head for the holiday buffet.
A few months back Pat accidentally tried on a pair of size 2 jeans at an outlet store and was astounded to discover that they fit. Of course, she bought them; she had never had a pair of size 2 pants in her closet—ever. But she couldn't resist asking the clerk why a woman who normally wears a size 8 would fit into a pair of size 2 jeans. The saleswoman laughed and said this clothing line's sizes seemed to fluctuate with the designer's own weight. "No matter how much she gains or loses," the saleswoman said, "we think she always wants to wear the same size."
That story came to mind as we were reading the results of a recent Cornell University study published in the journal Eating Behaviors, which examined how people's perceptions of their size and shape motivated them to lose weight. The authors assumed that the further someone was from a healthy weight, the more dissatisfied they would be with their body and the more pounds they would want to lose to achieve an ideal weight (as defined by a Body Mass Index between 18.5 and 24.9. The BMI is a ratio of height to weight. To check yours, click here). But the results didn't turn out quite as the researchers had expected, which always makes a study more interesting to us.
Although overweight and obese women expressed the greatest dissatisfaction with their bodies, the amount of weight they said they would "ideally" like to lose was so low that they would still be categorized as overweight, the researchers found. "We thought they would choose a weight that was within the 'normal' category," says Lori Neighbors, one of the study's authors who is now an assistant professor of nutrition at the University of Wisconsin. Meanwhile, "normal" weight women said they wanted to lose only a few pounds, rejecting the very thin images that we see glorified in fashion magazines, which also surprised the researchers. "We found that encouraging," says Neighbors, "because by not idealizing that extremely light-for-height weight, they are less likely to get into the kinds of weight-management behaviors that put women into a dieting tailspin and encourage them to use extreme methods."
The same might not be said for the underweight women, who told researchers they believed they were at their ideal weight. "They didn't seem to understand the health risks associated with being underweight," she says. "We think that maybe once you get to be a member of this very thin group you get the kind of social messages that keep you there."
Still, the larger health concern is with those who are overweight. Two-thirds of adult American women fall into the overweight or obese category, according to their BMIs. Just last week a report from the Centers for Disease Control found that the prevalence of obesity among U.S. adults doubled between 1980 and 2004 and has since stabilized at an alarmingly high level. Compared to women of a generation ago, we're 24 pounds heavier on average, and there's been an especially alarming increase in those at the upper end of the scale (not just obese, defined as a BMI of 30 or higher, but significantly obese, with a BMI above 35).
Because high BMIs are associated with increased risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, some cancers and heart problems, there's a lot of public health interest in turning this situation around. One way to do it may be to better understand the psychology of weight loss. Neighbors said it's possible that the overweight women in her study aimed for such modest diet goals because lower numbers on the scale seemed unattainable to them. "If you're five-foot-two and 200 pounds, maybe it seems like a pipe dream that your weight could be 120 pounds," she says. Still, that may just mean that women who are very overweight might need to achieve small weight loss goals before they can envision larger losses and change their eating and exercise behaviors accordingly.
But the Cornell study also seems to indicate that underweight women are much more influenced by media imagery than overweight women are. There's some evidence that heavier women are more likely to take their cues from the people they see around them instead. That theory was bolstered recently when a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that having overweight friends makes people much more likely to carry extra pounds themselves. "If more of their friends are overweight, maybe that changes their perception of what it means to be overweight," Neighbors says. They may simply see being fat as the new normal.
That may not be quite as bad as it sounds, if it makes women feel better about their bodies. A recent University of Minnesota study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health examined the relationship between body satisfaction and BMI five years later among a group of overweight teen girls. Researchers Patricia van den Berg and Dianne Neumark-Sztainer found that overweight girls who were more comfortable with their bodies were less likely to gain weight as they entered young adulthood. The Minnesota research suggests that girls who felt good about themselves were more likely to be physically active and pay more attention to what they ate. They didn't lose much weight, but they made healthy lifestyle changes that at least prevented them from gaining more weight. Meanwhile, the researchers found that the girls who were the most dissatisfied with their size tended to become more sedentary over time and paid less attention to maintaining a healthy diet. Those who were unhappy with their bodies were, in fact, more likely to gain more weight. If the same holds true on a larger scale, then encouraging women to love and care for their bodies—even when they don't match the Hollywood ideal—may be one way to reverse or at least slow the progression of the obesity epidemic.
Maybe our New Year's resolution should be to love ourselves enough to be the healthiest we can be, instead of constantly beating ourselves up that we're not a real size 2. That's something to think about as we squeeze into our dress jeans and head for the holiday buffet.
article can be found here
Monday, December 3, 2007
exhausted
I’m not sure how it happened, but it did. I felt the weight and speed of the past year catch up with me in one swift moment. i should’ve been prepared for it. I had an inkling it was about to happen. My nights have been more restless. My thoughts have been more scattered. and my days seem to only know how to drag on, slowly. My prayers have been short and desperate.
And that’s how I come to you. I am incredibly thankful for how you’ve surrounded me with your prayers and support throughout my life. if that’s through being one of my first best friends in high school…or a roommate in college…or a camp mate at some point…or a friend whom I’ve met along the way. Each of you have been an essential part of my life.
So, here I am - as transparent as I can be via the world wide web internet (I had to throw some humor in there).
This past year I made a decision to dig my heels in deep in raising my support with word made flesh. I’ve dedicated a large chunk of my time every Friday to write letters to friends and family members. I treasure the somewhat uninterrupted time of slowing down and writing old-school letters. through my letters I attempt to catch people up on what I’m doing in wmf, how I’m doing in Omaha and I also try to invite them to partner with me in the ministry of wmf. If I’m not writing, I’m trying to figure out how raising support should work.
And let’s be honest. It’s exhausting and it doesn’t feel sustainable now. And right now, my prayer is that I can go one day without thinking about raising support – basically, my salary. We’re going on 548 + days.
I don’t want to have to find new and creative ways to ask for support. I don’t want to wordsmith my way into your hearts and prayers. I don’t want to bold numbers…or italicize words. I don’t want to treat you like that. I just want to be me and ask for your prayers. I need help.
This pace has been hard. Really hard. And I need a miracle. Really, I need someone to carry me for awhile because this has become really heavy.
So. I’m asking for prayers. Prayers for miracles. Prayers for sustainability. Prayers for hope. Prayers for some people to carry me for just a little bit…well, maybe a bit longer than a little bit, what about a lot a bit. Thank you.
And that’s how I come to you. I am incredibly thankful for how you’ve surrounded me with your prayers and support throughout my life. if that’s through being one of my first best friends in high school…or a roommate in college…or a camp mate at some point…or a friend whom I’ve met along the way. Each of you have been an essential part of my life.
So, here I am - as transparent as I can be via the world wide web internet (I had to throw some humor in there).
This past year I made a decision to dig my heels in deep in raising my support with word made flesh. I’ve dedicated a large chunk of my time every Friday to write letters to friends and family members. I treasure the somewhat uninterrupted time of slowing down and writing old-school letters. through my letters I attempt to catch people up on what I’m doing in wmf, how I’m doing in Omaha and I also try to invite them to partner with me in the ministry of wmf. If I’m not writing, I’m trying to figure out how raising support should work.
And let’s be honest. It’s exhausting and it doesn’t feel sustainable now. And right now, my prayer is that I can go one day without thinking about raising support – basically, my salary. We’re going on 548 + days.
I don’t want to have to find new and creative ways to ask for support. I don’t want to wordsmith my way into your hearts and prayers. I don’t want to bold numbers…or italicize words. I don’t want to treat you like that. I just want to be me and ask for your prayers. I need help.
This pace has been hard. Really hard. And I need a miracle. Really, I need someone to carry me for awhile because this has become really heavy.
So. I’m asking for prayers. Prayers for miracles. Prayers for sustainability. Prayers for hope. Prayers for some people to carry me for just a little bit…well, maybe a bit longer than a little bit, what about a lot a bit. Thank you.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
oh, the bluegrass
here on the eve of my departure from kentucky, i can't help but reflect on the great times i've had here with my family...and yes, the dvr. i realize how much i love and cherish my family.
really...do we not grow out of this homesickness? apparently not. because i still get homesick and incredibly sad when i have to say goodbye to my family.
some of my favorite memories:
* funny accents with my mom
* good conversations
* xbox with my brother
* thanksgiving post-meal walk with the family
* craft night with the family
* watching this christmas with the family
* laughing, a lot
really...do we not grow out of this homesickness? apparently not. because i still get homesick and incredibly sad when i have to say goodbye to my family.
some of my favorite memories:
* funny accents with my mom
* good conversations
* xbox with my brother
* thanksgiving post-meal walk with the family
* craft night with the family
* watching this christmas with the family
* laughing, a lot
Thursday, November 22, 2007
gobble gobble
gobble. gobble. happy thanksgiving to you.
i'm incredibly thankful for so many things and so many people.
this thanksgiving was really fun.
tomorrow i head to nashville with my mom to see kenley. i'm looking forward to spending time with my mom and then also seeing sweet k.
hope you all have a great holiday.
i'm incredibly thankful for so many things and so many people.
this thanksgiving was really fun.
tomorrow i head to nashville with my mom to see kenley. i'm looking forward to spending time with my mom and then also seeing sweet k.
hope you all have a great holiday.
Monday, November 19, 2007
my new york
i wrote this after returning from a trip to nyc:
My new york.
I remember my first trip to new york. The closest I had ever gotten to new york was through watching episodes of sex and the city. I imagined being whisked around in cabs while jumping in and out just to see a broadway show or to shop at some store. I imagined walking hand in hand with my love through central park...and maybe, just maybe kissing on top of the empire state building.
But that’s not my new york. I’m in no way a new yorker at all. I’m barely considered a southern implant in the midwest. But I do have my own new york. With it’s noise, it’s pollution...the honking, the walking...the stops...the moments of awe and inspiration mixed together in tension make this city beautiful to me. I can point out the restaurant I had my first new york meal...complete with tears and a fight. I can point out the different corners when I would get a glimpse of kenley and be blown away at who God has created him to be. My new york is full of slow, meaningful walks through the city, walking, sometimes hand in hand or maybe arm in arm with my best friend and love. It’s the noise and silence that make the soundtrack to some of the most important conversations of our relationship. When I can’t hear anything other than horns honking and strangers’ phone conversations, I feel kenley’s hand grab mine and it’s there, this unspoken, intimate moment between us that no one else can share.
Kenley gracefully and beautifully carries himself through situations and averted crises...and in that same manner, he gently encourages me to follow his lead. If it’s through him carrying my luggage up broken escalators...or if it’s him telling me to suck it up...he knows when and how to challenge me.
So. When I get home from new york, I’m acutely aware of his absence. Yes, I’m definitely aware of it when I try carrying my luggage up my stairs...not just because it’s heavy and I’d prefer if someone would help me...but because he carried that luggage all morning without complaining.
My new york.
I remember my first trip to new york. The closest I had ever gotten to new york was through watching episodes of sex and the city. I imagined being whisked around in cabs while jumping in and out just to see a broadway show or to shop at some store. I imagined walking hand in hand with my love through central park...and maybe, just maybe kissing on top of the empire state building.
But that’s not my new york. I’m in no way a new yorker at all. I’m barely considered a southern implant in the midwest. But I do have my own new york. With it’s noise, it’s pollution...the honking, the walking...the stops...the moments of awe and inspiration mixed together in tension make this city beautiful to me. I can point out the restaurant I had my first new york meal...complete with tears and a fight. I can point out the different corners when I would get a glimpse of kenley and be blown away at who God has created him to be. My new york is full of slow, meaningful walks through the city, walking, sometimes hand in hand or maybe arm in arm with my best friend and love. It’s the noise and silence that make the soundtrack to some of the most important conversations of our relationship. When I can’t hear anything other than horns honking and strangers’ phone conversations, I feel kenley’s hand grab mine and it’s there, this unspoken, intimate moment between us that no one else can share.
Kenley gracefully and beautifully carries himself through situations and averted crises...and in that same manner, he gently encourages me to follow his lead. If it’s through him carrying my luggage up broken escalators...or if it’s him telling me to suck it up...he knows when and how to challenge me.
So. When I get home from new york, I’m acutely aware of his absence. Yes, I’m definitely aware of it when I try carrying my luggage up my stairs...not just because it’s heavy and I’d prefer if someone would help me...but because he carried that luggage all morning without complaining.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
on snap
it's that time again...prayer letter time! ch-ch-ch-eck it out!
Friends and family,
If you know me and my brother, you know that we are pretty different. He’s almost a foot taller than me. He is inclined to be more introverted and I more extroverted. But as we’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed our similarities. We both enjoy exercising, sports and reading. And we both love celebrating holidays. And I don’t mean the waking-up-at-six-am-on-Christmas type of celebrating. I mean, celebrating holidays and sharing memories with our family.
My favorite memories have been helping around the kitchen with Mom, breaking the wishbone with Jonathan or watching Dad make his famous German Chocolate Cake (if you’re ever in Lexington around the holidays, let me know, you need a piece!)
So in the past years Jonathan and I have attempted to protect our holidays. I have to preface this with: we have never succeeded and never should. Usually about a week or so before Thanksgiving, Mom tells us that she has invited guests over for dinner. Jonathan and I may exchange looks, we both know what this means: our best behavior and clothing. What Jonathan and I have both overlooked is what Mom’s invitation represents. With love and her hospitality, she invites friends into our home to share a meal and build community. Guests make our conversations sweeter and deeper and our table fuller.
Hospitality is interruptible, inclusive and open to distractions. We see this type of hospitality throughout the Bible (Jesus at the home of Martha and Mary, Luke 10:38-41, Jesus staying at the home of Zacchaeus the tax collector, Luke 19:1-11. – I know there are countless more). I have a lot to learn. It’s only through the hospitality and invitation of Christ and His sacrifice that I am able to enter into relationship with Him.
You all have offered me such hospitality. You have allowed me to come into your email, mailboxes and lives and you’ve welcomed me well. So, as I prepare for this upcoming holiday season, I want to be truly hospitable.
So, in honor of Thanksgiving, I’d like to invite you to share in some of the things I am the most thankful for this year.
Personally
• Home sweet home. My apartment space is coming together and I love that it feels like home.
• Friendships are priceless. Both my friendships in and out of the office have developed and deepened. Spiritually. I’m continuing to learn how to surrender my life to Christ every day.
Vocationally
• Advocacy Coordinator. I love my job, I really do. My primary roles in the office are to work on the design of The Cry and other publications from the office, support both my department through strategic planning and the international community as they serve the poor around the world.
Financially
• Monthly Supporters. My number of monthly supporters has doubled in the past year. I currently have 20 people who support me financially each month. The monthly support that I receive each month has allowed my support account to move closer to being in the positive territory.
• -$1,092.00. This is where my support account was at the end of October, right after my salary was pulled. Like I said in my last prayer letter, my support account was -$4,071.93 at this time last year. Thank you for how you have generously responded to my financial needs.
I am thankful that the amount of monthly supporters has grown a lot in the past year. I would love that number to continue growing. If you’re not currently a monthly supporter, I would love it if you would prayerfully consider it. The monthly support that I receive helps my support account and makes reading my monthly support update a lot easier. Also, any year-end gifts you could send on my behalf would allow me to move towards having healthy support account that is able to withstand my salary, taxes, travel and other deductions.
Next May Marcia and I hope to visit Sierra Leone, West Africa, to visit our staff and friends there. Although that trip is not for another five months or so, I need to raise a significant amount of money to cover my travel costs. I plan that this trip will cost close to $3,000 (airfare, housing and food costs). I would love to have my support account healthy enough to cover this cost by May.
Thank you all for how you’ve supported me in these two years I’ve been with Word Made Flesh. I’ve felt incredible cared for and supported by you all. From your letters, phone calls and emails, you’ve welcomed me into your lives.
I hope you and your family have a beautiful holiday season, enjoying the gift of hospitality that Christ offers us each day, Merry Christmas,
Love,
Jara
Friends and family,
If you know me and my brother, you know that we are pretty different. He’s almost a foot taller than me. He is inclined to be more introverted and I more extroverted. But as we’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed our similarities. We both enjoy exercising, sports and reading. And we both love celebrating holidays. And I don’t mean the waking-up-at-six-am-on-Christmas type of celebrating. I mean, celebrating holidays and sharing memories with our family.
My favorite memories have been helping around the kitchen with Mom, breaking the wishbone with Jonathan or watching Dad make his famous German Chocolate Cake (if you’re ever in Lexington around the holidays, let me know, you need a piece!)
So in the past years Jonathan and I have attempted to protect our holidays. I have to preface this with: we have never succeeded and never should. Usually about a week or so before Thanksgiving, Mom tells us that she has invited guests over for dinner. Jonathan and I may exchange looks, we both know what this means: our best behavior and clothing. What Jonathan and I have both overlooked is what Mom’s invitation represents. With love and her hospitality, she invites friends into our home to share a meal and build community. Guests make our conversations sweeter and deeper and our table fuller.
Hospitality is interruptible, inclusive and open to distractions. We see this type of hospitality throughout the Bible (Jesus at the home of Martha and Mary, Luke 10:38-41, Jesus staying at the home of Zacchaeus the tax collector, Luke 19:1-11. – I know there are countless more). I have a lot to learn. It’s only through the hospitality and invitation of Christ and His sacrifice that I am able to enter into relationship with Him.
You all have offered me such hospitality. You have allowed me to come into your email, mailboxes and lives and you’ve welcomed me well. So, as I prepare for this upcoming holiday season, I want to be truly hospitable.
So, in honor of Thanksgiving, I’d like to invite you to share in some of the things I am the most thankful for this year.
Personally
• Home sweet home. My apartment space is coming together and I love that it feels like home.
• Friendships are priceless. Both my friendships in and out of the office have developed and deepened. Spiritually. I’m continuing to learn how to surrender my life to Christ every day.
Vocationally
• Advocacy Coordinator. I love my job, I really do. My primary roles in the office are to work on the design of The Cry and other publications from the office, support both my department through strategic planning and the international community as they serve the poor around the world.
Financially
• Monthly Supporters. My number of monthly supporters has doubled in the past year. I currently have 20 people who support me financially each month. The monthly support that I receive each month has allowed my support account to move closer to being in the positive territory.
• -$1,092.00. This is where my support account was at the end of October, right after my salary was pulled. Like I said in my last prayer letter, my support account was -$4,071.93 at this time last year. Thank you for how you have generously responded to my financial needs.
I am thankful that the amount of monthly supporters has grown a lot in the past year. I would love that number to continue growing. If you’re not currently a monthly supporter, I would love it if you would prayerfully consider it. The monthly support that I receive helps my support account and makes reading my monthly support update a lot easier. Also, any year-end gifts you could send on my behalf would allow me to move towards having healthy support account that is able to withstand my salary, taxes, travel and other deductions.
Next May Marcia and I hope to visit Sierra Leone, West Africa, to visit our staff and friends there. Although that trip is not for another five months or so, I need to raise a significant amount of money to cover my travel costs. I plan that this trip will cost close to $3,000 (airfare, housing and food costs). I would love to have my support account healthy enough to cover this cost by May.
Thank you all for how you’ve supported me in these two years I’ve been with Word Made Flesh. I’ve felt incredible cared for and supported by you all. From your letters, phone calls and emails, you’ve welcomed me into your lives.
I hope you and your family have a beautiful holiday season, enjoying the gift of hospitality that Christ offers us each day, Merry Christmas,
Love,
Jara
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
food
this past weekend we hosted our monthly meeting: beggars society. it was probably one of my favorite meetings so far. the focus was on AIDs and those who are suffering from AIDs (and HIV) in and outside of our community and how we can participate in the fight to combat AIDs...and to fight for proper treatment, education and justice for our friends.
we shared a meal of porridge that is given to those suffering from AIDs, malnutrition and other diseases...this meal, about 750 calories per serving, was lukewarm, a bit sweet and tasted like grits. in somewhat awkward silence we sat and meditated on what this meal meant. three of us shared reflections that appeared in the cry. these reflections highlighted children of WMF who died from AIDs/HIV. i shared about our friend suryakala who grew up in one of our children's homes in india. she passed away last april. as i began reading chris' reflection, my voice started to shake. i was quickly swept back into the graveyard we visited while in chennai. there are these white crosses with a number of names...there's a special spot of graves reserved for children of wmf. and it struck me that is where there's a cross for surya. i remember standing in that graveyard, incredibly confused with hearing the of children who die each day (30,000). that number didn't make sense.
my responsibility didn't make sense. i couldn't see how anything i could do or couldn't do would change that number. i felt paralyzed. the grief was overwhelming. it was that same grief that caught me off-guard when finishing the memorial for surya. standing in front of a crowd, reading an article, with a shaking voice...became awkward and uncomfortable for me. i cried. and i sat down. not sure what happened.
i was a part of a collision of thoughts that i had been thinking of for awhile. since being on weight watchers my thoughts of food have changed quite a deal.
i realize that:
* we associate celebrations with food
* we waste an incredible amount of food
* we eat an enormous amount of food
* we truly live to eat rather eat to live
* we don't see the connection between honoring our body with what we put in it
* we don't feed our body what it truly needs
i've observed these things in my life and in the lives of those around me. in my small group at beggars society i talked about celebrations with food. our office had just come off of celebrating two birthdays with baked goods and other food. i don't think that celebrating with food is inherently wrong. i see how fellowship around the table is important...i saw that when eating at prabha's house in chennai. this huge, beautiful family offered us hospitality through their hours of preparing food and giving us food. what's central to that celebration is community. when we give our food to the other...rich, poor, black, white, we offer them a seat at the table and we share life...and break bread...and celebrate life.
in the united states we have the option to even talk about cutting back on how much we eat...and what we eat...there aren't many other countries that can do that. so we go into this conversation lightly and humbly...realizing that we can talk about watching what we eat and how much...when millions of people right now are starving and dying of starvation.
so, right now we're in the middle of conversations about conserving energy and being green because we want to honor the earth's resources and be good stewards of the environment...leave lighter ecological footprints. you get my point...i am def. a believer of being environmentally responsible. in that same breath, i think we have to really discern how we're doing that on an individual basis when it comes to food.
questions i am pondering:
* how much gas does it cost to bring the food in that i'm purchasing
* how much gas would i save if i didn't get fast food...or drive to the grocery store
* how much money would i save if i purchased food from local farmers
* how much money would i save on medical bills if i ate healthier
* what is a good food choice
* what about community potlucks?
those are really basic questions. not even good ones. it goes beyond money though...i think there's an ownership of responsibility...that what i do now...what i eat affects others....
what am i trying to do:
* limit the amount of times i eat out
* cook in more often
* invite friends over for more shared meals
* be a good steward of the food in my apartment - not being wasteful
* budget my money spent on food
* instead of ziplocs bags - use reusable ziplock containers
* limit my trips to the grocery store
check this website out...it helps you figure out how much you can save on groceries if you were to lose weight, eat healthier, etc.
what are your questions? what do you think you'll do differently next year?
we shared a meal of porridge that is given to those suffering from AIDs, malnutrition and other diseases...this meal, about 750 calories per serving, was lukewarm, a bit sweet and tasted like grits. in somewhat awkward silence we sat and meditated on what this meal meant. three of us shared reflections that appeared in the cry. these reflections highlighted children of WMF who died from AIDs/HIV. i shared about our friend suryakala who grew up in one of our children's homes in india. she passed away last april. as i began reading chris' reflection, my voice started to shake. i was quickly swept back into the graveyard we visited while in chennai. there are these white crosses with a number of names...there's a special spot of graves reserved for children of wmf. and it struck me that is where there's a cross for surya. i remember standing in that graveyard, incredibly confused with hearing the of children who die each day (30,000). that number didn't make sense.
my responsibility didn't make sense. i couldn't see how anything i could do or couldn't do would change that number. i felt paralyzed. the grief was overwhelming. it was that same grief that caught me off-guard when finishing the memorial for surya. standing in front of a crowd, reading an article, with a shaking voice...became awkward and uncomfortable for me. i cried. and i sat down. not sure what happened.
i was a part of a collision of thoughts that i had been thinking of for awhile. since being on weight watchers my thoughts of food have changed quite a deal.
i realize that:
* we associate celebrations with food
* we waste an incredible amount of food
* we eat an enormous amount of food
* we truly live to eat rather eat to live
* we don't see the connection between honoring our body with what we put in it
* we don't feed our body what it truly needs
i've observed these things in my life and in the lives of those around me. in my small group at beggars society i talked about celebrations with food. our office had just come off of celebrating two birthdays with baked goods and other food. i don't think that celebrating with food is inherently wrong. i see how fellowship around the table is important...i saw that when eating at prabha's house in chennai. this huge, beautiful family offered us hospitality through their hours of preparing food and giving us food. what's central to that celebration is community. when we give our food to the other...rich, poor, black, white, we offer them a seat at the table and we share life...and break bread...and celebrate life.
in the united states we have the option to even talk about cutting back on how much we eat...and what we eat...there aren't many other countries that can do that. so we go into this conversation lightly and humbly...realizing that we can talk about watching what we eat and how much...when millions of people right now are starving and dying of starvation.
so, right now we're in the middle of conversations about conserving energy and being green because we want to honor the earth's resources and be good stewards of the environment...leave lighter ecological footprints. you get my point...i am def. a believer of being environmentally responsible. in that same breath, i think we have to really discern how we're doing that on an individual basis when it comes to food.
questions i am pondering:
* how much gas does it cost to bring the food in that i'm purchasing
* how much gas would i save if i didn't get fast food...or drive to the grocery store
* how much money would i save if i purchased food from local farmers
* how much money would i save on medical bills if i ate healthier
* what is a good food choice
* what about community potlucks?
those are really basic questions. not even good ones. it goes beyond money though...i think there's an ownership of responsibility...that what i do now...what i eat affects others....
what am i trying to do:
* limit the amount of times i eat out
* cook in more often
* invite friends over for more shared meals
* be a good steward of the food in my apartment - not being wasteful
* budget my money spent on food
* instead of ziplocs bags - use reusable ziplock containers
* limit my trips to the grocery store
check this website out...it helps you figure out how much you can save on groceries if you were to lose weight, eat healthier, etc.
what are your questions? what do you think you'll do differently next year?
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
coming up for air
yep. i was that kid who would love to try and see how long i could hold my breath under water. there is always that point of feeling like you're just about to suffocate. your arms flail...you push off of the bottom of the pool and you come up for air. beautiful, lovely and satisfying air.
i'm not at that point of feeling like i 'm suffocating. i've made a point to go to the gym each morning...and i've tried to make a point to create some quiet space in the morning at home when i get back. sometimes saved by the bell is just too tempting.
the board meeting starts this weekend. it is sometimes a test to see who has to come up for air...flailing their arms...or who comes up beside you to help you catch your breath. that's my prayer for this weekend. it's inevitable...something will happen...and our arms will go up in the air...our blood pressure will join it...and so will our hair...and possibly the volume of our voices. but hopefully someone will link arms with us and tell us...it's alright, just come up for some air. this will be over before you know it...and besides, we get an extra hour of sleep on sunday.
:)
i'm not at that point of feeling like i 'm suffocating. i've made a point to go to the gym each morning...and i've tried to make a point to create some quiet space in the morning at home when i get back. sometimes saved by the bell is just too tempting.
the board meeting starts this weekend. it is sometimes a test to see who has to come up for air...flailing their arms...or who comes up beside you to help you catch your breath. that's my prayer for this weekend. it's inevitable...something will happen...and our arms will go up in the air...our blood pressure will join it...and so will our hair...and possibly the volume of our voices. but hopefully someone will link arms with us and tell us...it's alright, just come up for some air. this will be over before you know it...and besides, we get an extra hour of sleep on sunday.
:)
Monday, October 29, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
bootleg internet :)
kenley is letting me borrow his laptop and someone is letting me borrow their internet.
remember that one time i started a blog to write about my journey with weight watchers, oh yeah. i did.
so i'll write a little bit about what i'm learning about in my journey of living a whole, healthy life with discipline and grace.
realization.
for the longest time...well, i guess five years, i was in denial about my relationship with food. i definitely found comfort in food through celebrations, loneliness, happiness anger, solitude, companionship and community. i had always been fairly active through high school and a majority of college. i assumed that my body would just adjust to living a sedentary life. i didn't think that it would adjust to being over 200 pounds...more specifically 228 pounds. damn. she just wrote that.
i invite people to be a part of my life and this is an important part of my life, it is my health.
so. i realized there was something wrong when i went to get my nebraska license and didn't know what to put in the 'weight' portion of the application. hmm. i knew that it was harder for me to fasten seatbelts on planes...i knew it was harder to bend over to paint my nails...and shit, it was a lot harder for me to climb the three flights of stairs to my apartment. well. 185 sounds good. to me it was an acknowledgment that i wasn't the weight i should be. but i didn't realize that it was far, far from the truth.
the truth was that i was a morbidly obese 25 year old woman. i had odd heart pains, my feet hurt in the morning, i slept much more than i needed to, i avoided the gym, i wore guachos - a lot and i wasn't happy.
it went beyond my weight. i'm realizing that our lives are much more interconnected than we like to admit. when i don't have enough alone time, my health suffers...and when my health suffers i don't want to spend time with Christ...and when i don't spend time with Christ i'm not being refreshed, inspired, filled up to be given those around me. it's all tied up together.
so. now. i look back to almost a year ago and i wonder what happened. my mom spoke into my life in ways that no one else did. i wonder if we have the courage to call each other out...not in a negative way...but in a way to encourage and uplift them. my prayer is that we live towards wholeness: spiritually, emotionally, relationally, physically...all of those areas and more. and as we move towards wholeness we can offer ourselves to each other. this goes against what our culture thinks we should do or who we should be. it makes more sense if we indulge ourselves in things that make us feel good. why would we want to eat a balanced diet when we can feel better eating what makes us feel good...why would we want to use our bodies and exercise when we can just not (i know, bad sentence). i hope that we can move to honoring God's creation - our body through whole health.
anyway. these are just some thoughts. i'm definitely still working through what this looks like. much more later. it's too late to write more.
peace to you.
remember that one time i started a blog to write about my journey with weight watchers, oh yeah. i did.
so i'll write a little bit about what i'm learning about in my journey of living a whole, healthy life with discipline and grace.
realization.
for the longest time...well, i guess five years, i was in denial about my relationship with food. i definitely found comfort in food through celebrations, loneliness, happiness anger, solitude, companionship and community. i had always been fairly active through high school and a majority of college. i assumed that my body would just adjust to living a sedentary life. i didn't think that it would adjust to being over 200 pounds...more specifically 228 pounds. damn. she just wrote that.
i invite people to be a part of my life and this is an important part of my life, it is my health.
so. i realized there was something wrong when i went to get my nebraska license and didn't know what to put in the 'weight' portion of the application. hmm. i knew that it was harder for me to fasten seatbelts on planes...i knew it was harder to bend over to paint my nails...and shit, it was a lot harder for me to climb the three flights of stairs to my apartment. well. 185 sounds good. to me it was an acknowledgment that i wasn't the weight i should be. but i didn't realize that it was far, far from the truth.
the truth was that i was a morbidly obese 25 year old woman. i had odd heart pains, my feet hurt in the morning, i slept much more than i needed to, i avoided the gym, i wore guachos - a lot and i wasn't happy.
it went beyond my weight. i'm realizing that our lives are much more interconnected than we like to admit. when i don't have enough alone time, my health suffers...and when my health suffers i don't want to spend time with Christ...and when i don't spend time with Christ i'm not being refreshed, inspired, filled up to be given those around me. it's all tied up together.
so. now. i look back to almost a year ago and i wonder what happened. my mom spoke into my life in ways that no one else did. i wonder if we have the courage to call each other out...not in a negative way...but in a way to encourage and uplift them. my prayer is that we live towards wholeness: spiritually, emotionally, relationally, physically...all of those areas and more. and as we move towards wholeness we can offer ourselves to each other. this goes against what our culture thinks we should do or who we should be. it makes more sense if we indulge ourselves in things that make us feel good. why would we want to eat a balanced diet when we can feel better eating what makes us feel good...why would we want to use our bodies and exercise when we can just not (i know, bad sentence). i hope that we can move to honoring God's creation - our body through whole health.
anyway. these are just some thoughts. i'm definitely still working through what this looks like. much more later. it's too late to write more.
peace to you.
Friday, October 26, 2007
two minutes
what do i have to say in two minutes? well. there have been things that i want to write about but haven't had the time yet.
i will write soon. kenley comes in town this weekend and i'm thrilled.
and it's the weekend. and i'm thrilled.
peace.
i will write soon. kenley comes in town this weekend and i'm thrilled.
and it's the weekend. and i'm thrilled.
peace.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
funny link about cellphones
don't be these people (mentioned in the article)
http://tech.msn.com/products/articlecnet.aspx?cp-documentid=5569792>1=10540
http://tech.msn.com/products/articlecnet.aspx?cp-documentid=5569792>1=10540
Saturday, October 20, 2007
mmm fall
i made it to new york this morning at 10:04. actually we landed at 9:45 am...
there's nothing like a direct flight from omaha to newark...and there's nothing better than not paying for the ticket. here's to redeeming points to fly :).
anyway. i had a good week. a lot of the week was looking forward to this weekend. there's nothing like hanging with my sweet man in a really cool city with delicious fall weather.
after a week of cloudy, gloomy skies i welcome these cloudless, blue skies that new york is offering me right now. :)
there's nothing like a direct flight from omaha to newark...and there's nothing better than not paying for the ticket. here's to redeeming points to fly :).
anyway. i had a good week. a lot of the week was looking forward to this weekend. there's nothing like hanging with my sweet man in a really cool city with delicious fall weather.
after a week of cloudy, gloomy skies i welcome these cloudless, blue skies that new york is offering me right now. :)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
woman
of all of the times i've read The Jesus I Never Knew i've never stopped on the two pages (so far) where yancey mentions the role of women in Jesus' life.
so this morning it caught me off guard when our department stopped to discuss these two pages. i'm not really sure it was even two pages. but we paused for quite awhile when we were discussing the longest part of this book, TJINK.
i'm not really sure how to articulate how the conversation went down but it's really stayed with me the entire day.
'perhaps it is no wonder that the women were first at the Cradle and last at the Cross. they had never known a man like this Man -- there had never been such another. a prophet and teacher who never nagged at them, who never flattered or coaxed or patronized; who never made arch jokes about them, never treated them either as 'The women, God help us!' or 'The Ladies, God bless them!'; who rebuked without querulousness and praised without condescension; who took their questions and arguments seriously, who never mapped out their sphere for them, never urged them to be feminine or jeered at them for being female; who had no ax to grind and no uneasy male dignity to defend; who took them as he found them and was completely unselfconscious.
there is no act, no sermon, no parable in the whole Gospel that borrows its pungency from female perversity; nobody could possibly guess from the words of Jesus that there was anything 'funny' about woman's nature.
but we might easily deduce it from His contemporaries, and from His prophets before Him, and from His Church to this day.'
- TJINK, page 154 -
- Dorothy Sayers, Are Women Human, Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 1971, p. 47
so this morning it caught me off guard when our department stopped to discuss these two pages. i'm not really sure it was even two pages. but we paused for quite awhile when we were discussing the longest part of this book, TJINK.
i'm not really sure how to articulate how the conversation went down but it's really stayed with me the entire day.
'perhaps it is no wonder that the women were first at the Cradle and last at the Cross. they had never known a man like this Man -- there had never been such another. a prophet and teacher who never nagged at them, who never flattered or coaxed or patronized; who never made arch jokes about them, never treated them either as 'The women, God help us!' or 'The Ladies, God bless them!'; who rebuked without querulousness and praised without condescension; who took their questions and arguments seriously, who never mapped out their sphere for them, never urged them to be feminine or jeered at them for being female; who had no ax to grind and no uneasy male dignity to defend; who took them as he found them and was completely unselfconscious.
there is no act, no sermon, no parable in the whole Gospel that borrows its pungency from female perversity; nobody could possibly guess from the words of Jesus that there was anything 'funny' about woman's nature.
but we might easily deduce it from His contemporaries, and from His prophets before Him, and from His Church to this day.'
- TJINK, page 154 -
- Dorothy Sayers, Are Women Human, Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 1971, p. 47
Monday, October 15, 2007
when i run dry...i stop awhile and think of you
here's my most recent prayer letter. enjoy :)
Dear Friends,
Photographs, postcards, letters and scribbled notes surround me at my desk at work. I recently read a magazine article that suggested that by displaying reminders of friends and family through photographs and notes then feelings of loneliness could be kept at bay. I’ve outlined my personal journey with loneliness in my prayer letters, but don’t worry, I’m not walking into the office each day clutching pictures of friends and family while wiping away tears from my face.
You would, however, catch me hanging up those pieces of mail and photographs that have made their ways though the postal system to Omaha, Nebraska. I have to be honest, when it comes to letters, postcards or anything that is handwritten, there is a good chance I will keep those in some area of my apartment or office. Not just cards for birthdays and holidays, it gets much worse, I, Jara Sturdivant have kept a ‘note notebook’ from middle school that I shared with one of my girlfriends.
I can’t help but keep these tangible reminders of my personal history. With those mementos I am able to refer to my personal history and how my life has interacted and intertwined from the lives of those around me. It’s that context that keeps me grounded in who I am and how I’ve gotten here. And the core of that context is relationship.
That’s one of the reasons why I was drawn to the ministry of Word Made Flesh. Our interactions with each other and the poor are based on relationships. Our relationship to the Lord, our relationship to our community, our relationship to our supporters and our relationship to the poor whom we serve among. These relationships are the basis, the root, the very foundation of building true community.
And you are a part of this community. You are my friend and partner in this ministry. Because of our friendship and partnership, I commit to you that I won’t objectify you by seeing you only for what you can give. At WMF we have steered away from the historically aggressive fund-raising techniques that are solely based on numbers. We base everything on relationships. You are a part of this ministry with Word Made Flesh. You all are not only friends and family members who support me in my ministry with WMF. You all are friends and family members, who alongside me, participate in God’s work around the world.
Thank you for joining me in what God is doing around the world. In the next issue of The Cry we have highlighted what is happening with each of the WMF areas of service around the world. I would encourage you to read that for a glimpse of how God is moving among our friends. Also, you should check out the new Sari Bari website. Sari Bari is a business initiative of WMF Kolkata that gives women dignity-giving employment who were previously trapped in the sex trade. Visit www.saribari.com for more information.
Personally, I am doing well. Historically winter has been a dark time for me in Omaha, but this season I am hopeful. God has continued to prove Himself faithful in so many ways. The very areas where I’ve seen the most desolation in the past two years God has been incredibly gracious in providing this year. I’ve found some good friends to spend time with out of the office. I’m in a good rhythm with my health, exercising and eating well. I’m settling into my role in the advocacy department and establishing healthy boundaries that allow me to move away from being driven by crises.
And I’ve seen incredible, basically miraculous, growth in my support account. I’ll give you some context with my support account. Last October at this time, my support account was $-4,071.93. As of October 15, my support account is in positive territory! It is $609.68!
Even beyond the numbers, friends, new and old, near and far, have joined me in the ministry with WMF. If that’s financially or prayerfully, friends have literally surrounded me with love. There are no words to articulate how grateful I am. I celebrate having friends alongside me participating in what God is doing around the world.
If you are wondering how you can join me in my ministry, there are several different ways. First and most importantly, pray, pray, pray. Pray for our friends around the world, pray for those who serve among them (our international staff) and pray for those who serve them (our Omaha staff). Pray that we proclaim God’s hope, justice and kingdom in desperate and desolate situations. Second, I invite you to prayerfully give financially. I know that each month I ask for more monthly supporters…but it’s because I know that God has always provided and that you all have always responded generously. In order for my support account to stay in the positive, I will still need people to join me in financial, monthly support.
I invite you to take the next step in partnering with me in my ministry with WMF. If that is through being a committed prayer partner or if that’s committing to becoming a monthly, or one-time supporter, whatever the case, I would love to have you a part of this ministry. I’ve included the typical response card that can assist you in your giving and also act as a note to me letting me know how you’re supporting the ministry. I’m a lover of handwritten letters so if you include your address, I’ll definitely send some mail your way.
Thank you for being a part of my life and surrounding me with your prayers, thoughts and words.
love, jara
Dear Friends,
Photographs, postcards, letters and scribbled notes surround me at my desk at work. I recently read a magazine article that suggested that by displaying reminders of friends and family through photographs and notes then feelings of loneliness could be kept at bay. I’ve outlined my personal journey with loneliness in my prayer letters, but don’t worry, I’m not walking into the office each day clutching pictures of friends and family while wiping away tears from my face.
You would, however, catch me hanging up those pieces of mail and photographs that have made their ways though the postal system to Omaha, Nebraska. I have to be honest, when it comes to letters, postcards or anything that is handwritten, there is a good chance I will keep those in some area of my apartment or office. Not just cards for birthdays and holidays, it gets much worse, I, Jara Sturdivant have kept a ‘note notebook’ from middle school that I shared with one of my girlfriends.
I can’t help but keep these tangible reminders of my personal history. With those mementos I am able to refer to my personal history and how my life has interacted and intertwined from the lives of those around me. It’s that context that keeps me grounded in who I am and how I’ve gotten here. And the core of that context is relationship.
That’s one of the reasons why I was drawn to the ministry of Word Made Flesh. Our interactions with each other and the poor are based on relationships. Our relationship to the Lord, our relationship to our community, our relationship to our supporters and our relationship to the poor whom we serve among. These relationships are the basis, the root, the very foundation of building true community.
And you are a part of this community. You are my friend and partner in this ministry. Because of our friendship and partnership, I commit to you that I won’t objectify you by seeing you only for what you can give. At WMF we have steered away from the historically aggressive fund-raising techniques that are solely based on numbers. We base everything on relationships. You are a part of this ministry with Word Made Flesh. You all are not only friends and family members who support me in my ministry with WMF. You all are friends and family members, who alongside me, participate in God’s work around the world.
Thank you for joining me in what God is doing around the world. In the next issue of The Cry we have highlighted what is happening with each of the WMF areas of service around the world. I would encourage you to read that for a glimpse of how God is moving among our friends. Also, you should check out the new Sari Bari website. Sari Bari is a business initiative of WMF Kolkata that gives women dignity-giving employment who were previously trapped in the sex trade. Visit www.saribari.com for more information.
Personally, I am doing well. Historically winter has been a dark time for me in Omaha, but this season I am hopeful. God has continued to prove Himself faithful in so many ways. The very areas where I’ve seen the most desolation in the past two years God has been incredibly gracious in providing this year. I’ve found some good friends to spend time with out of the office. I’m in a good rhythm with my health, exercising and eating well. I’m settling into my role in the advocacy department and establishing healthy boundaries that allow me to move away from being driven by crises.
And I’ve seen incredible, basically miraculous, growth in my support account. I’ll give you some context with my support account. Last October at this time, my support account was $-4,071.93. As of October 15, my support account is in positive territory! It is $609.68!
Even beyond the numbers, friends, new and old, near and far, have joined me in the ministry with WMF. If that’s financially or prayerfully, friends have literally surrounded me with love. There are no words to articulate how grateful I am. I celebrate having friends alongside me participating in what God is doing around the world.
If you are wondering how you can join me in my ministry, there are several different ways. First and most importantly, pray, pray, pray. Pray for our friends around the world, pray for those who serve among them (our international staff) and pray for those who serve them (our Omaha staff). Pray that we proclaim God’s hope, justice and kingdom in desperate and desolate situations. Second, I invite you to prayerfully give financially. I know that each month I ask for more monthly supporters…but it’s because I know that God has always provided and that you all have always responded generously. In order for my support account to stay in the positive, I will still need people to join me in financial, monthly support.
I invite you to take the next step in partnering with me in my ministry with WMF. If that is through being a committed prayer partner or if that’s committing to becoming a monthly, or one-time supporter, whatever the case, I would love to have you a part of this ministry. I’ve included the typical response card that can assist you in your giving and also act as a note to me letting me know how you’re supporting the ministry. I’m a lover of handwritten letters so if you include your address, I’ll definitely send some mail your way.
Thank you for being a part of my life and surrounding me with your prayers, thoughts and words.
love, jara
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
bootleg
it's bootleg internet. shh. don't tell anyone. it's officially fall in omaha. i'm wearing a throwback asbury college circa 2002 sweatshirt. and ofcourse my windows are open. i'm a sucker for fresh air.
things have been going really well in o-town. i haven't had much time to update these here blog, but hopefully things will slow down enough to where i'll be able to make this a more consistent thing.
kenley was in town this past weekend. everytime he visits i'm amazed that our time together keeps getting better and better. i love seeing him interact with my friends here and how he easily and gracefully can enter into my life. i've been learning a lot about myself lately...especially in light of others and especially in light of God's character. i think i pretend to be laid-back. when things don't go my way or when things change i grit my teeth. i'm surprised i haven't given myself tmj...actually i might have already but that's beside the point. monday evening at the airport was a challenge.
i was in line with kenley and getting ready to say goodbye. i haven't really like goodbyes in my life and for some reason i thought they'd get easier. so, we're at the airport and we find out that his flight is delayed and he can't leave until the next day.
yep, there goes my schedule and everything i had 'planned.'
kenley didn't complain once. he took it all in stride...as i'm literally doing laps in my head trying to figure out if i can still make my 5:30 am pilates class and get him to the airport by 6. the answer is no if you're wondering. i didn't even try.
but this slowed me down.
so i'm still learning.
i go to new york next weekend. i'm incredibly excited. it's definitely been a minute since i've been there and i'm looking forward to seeing my first broadway show and kenley play some football.
anyway. i think i'm in the groove now. on to writing.
hmm. yours truly, js
things have been going really well in o-town. i haven't had much time to update these here blog, but hopefully things will slow down enough to where i'll be able to make this a more consistent thing.
kenley was in town this past weekend. everytime he visits i'm amazed that our time together keeps getting better and better. i love seeing him interact with my friends here and how he easily and gracefully can enter into my life. i've been learning a lot about myself lately...especially in light of others and especially in light of God's character. i think i pretend to be laid-back. when things don't go my way or when things change i grit my teeth. i'm surprised i haven't given myself tmj...actually i might have already but that's beside the point. monday evening at the airport was a challenge.
i was in line with kenley and getting ready to say goodbye. i haven't really like goodbyes in my life and for some reason i thought they'd get easier. so, we're at the airport and we find out that his flight is delayed and he can't leave until the next day.
yep, there goes my schedule and everything i had 'planned.'
kenley didn't complain once. he took it all in stride...as i'm literally doing laps in my head trying to figure out if i can still make my 5:30 am pilates class and get him to the airport by 6. the answer is no if you're wondering. i didn't even try.
but this slowed me down.
so i'm still learning.
i go to new york next weekend. i'm incredibly excited. it's definitely been a minute since i've been there and i'm looking forward to seeing my first broadway show and kenley play some football.
anyway. i think i'm in the groove now. on to writing.
hmm. yours truly, js
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
herbie hancock
npr is one of my favorite things to listen to. and studio 360 is super duper fun. so this morning when they advertised the upcoming episode of studio 360...i jumped on it.
it's herbie hancock. it's so great.
it's herbie hancock. it's so great.
Friday, September 28, 2007
here's a treat
i haven't posted a lot about my journey with weight watchers. but today i was looking at old pictures and was kind of shocked at what i looked like just a year ago.
you, too, can look.
Monday, September 17, 2007
monday morning
i'm here at work. early. i leave for fargo this friday and i wanted to take some extra time. i'm going to be spending this first hour not checking my email but writing to friends near and far. i'm so thankful for those friends who have supported me through the years. i never feel like i have the words to appropriately thank them. here's to friends who are far away from me. may they know how thankful i am.
Friday, September 14, 2007
friday
it's fifty eight of....or two till nine. and it's friday. finally. it's a blustery 45 degrees here in omaha. next week at this time the high will be reaching towards 90 degrees. what is up my friends? i have a post from my xanga that i'd like to share...it's about global warming gear.
well when i remember my xanga password i'll be sure to share.
it's friday. it's really friday.
okay. it's going to take much more time to find that blog. but here's a funny part of a blog. a list of terrible lifetime movie titles that i compiled from friends and my brain.
my mom's a carnie: circus moms
beatings my mom gave me
my mom loves my boyfriend
my mom is my dad
stacey's mom
my dog is my mom
mom has muddy butt
my mom is colder than nebraska
Not Without My Children's Children
Not Without My Chanel No5
My Mom is a Mexican Pro-wrestler Named "Nacho Libre" (Spanish with Subtitles)
My Father Was a Snowplow Driver and My Mother Parks in the Street
Why Men are the Devil, All Men are Dogs
I Was a Teenage Xanga-Addict
My Mom Is My Boyfriend
All Women Hate Men For Good Reason, and the sequeal, Why Women Should Kill Their Husbands
well when i remember my xanga password i'll be sure to share.
it's friday. it's really friday.
okay. it's going to take much more time to find that blog. but here's a funny part of a blog. a list of terrible lifetime movie titles that i compiled from friends and my brain.
my mom's a carnie: circus moms
beatings my mom gave me
my mom loves my boyfriend
my mom is my dad
stacey's mom
my dog is my mom
mom has muddy butt
my mom is colder than nebraska
Not Without My Children's Children
Not Without My Chanel No5
My Mom is a Mexican Pro-wrestler Named "Nacho Libre" (Spanish with Subtitles)
My Father Was a Snowplow Driver and My Mother Parks in the Street
Why Men are the Devil, All Men are Dogs
I Was a Teenage Xanga-Addict
My Mom Is My Boyfriend
All Women Hate Men For Good Reason, and the sequeal, Why Women Should Kill Their Husbands
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
oops
remember that one time that i had a blog that talked about weight loss? oh yeah. this one. i'll get back to that soon. i have some interesting observations.
so. i thought i'd write a little bit from my journal.
hebrews 10:39,
but we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.
-staring the red sea down.
the rushing waves that crash on this shore, those greet me.
the foam from the sea rushes to my toes.
dare i step in.
i look to my left, my right.
nothing.
will there be a sign?
i take a step back.
then i hear those familiar, haunting voices. NO! i scream.
the hair on my back sticks straight up.
i catch my breath. clutch my heart.
because now i hear Him.
i close my eyes and feel for Him.
i find Him.
i'm in the midst with only Him.
my love. my savior.
i walk with Him.
no need for words.
no need to explain.
He rescued me.
so. i thought i'd write a little bit from my journal.
hebrews 10:39,
but we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.
-staring the red sea down.
the rushing waves that crash on this shore, those greet me.
the foam from the sea rushes to my toes.
dare i step in.
i look to my left, my right.
nothing.
will there be a sign?
i take a step back.
then i hear those familiar, haunting voices. NO! i scream.
the hair on my back sticks straight up.
i catch my breath. clutch my heart.
because now i hear Him.
i close my eyes and feel for Him.
i find Him.
i'm in the midst with only Him.
my love. my savior.
i walk with Him.
no need for words.
no need to explain.
He rescued me.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
what's new
this morning 50 cent was in my dream. i was making him an omelet. i'm not really sure why it was for him. i do know why i was making an omelet. last week i made kenley and crocker omelets. that was a lot of fun even though kenley's was more scrambled than omelet. hee.
Friday, September 7, 2007
my personal quote of the day
on dreamweaver,
dreamweaver shouldn't be called dreamweaver. there's nothing dreamy about it. it should be called damnweaver.
dreamweaver shouldn't be called dreamweaver. there's nothing dreamy about it. it should be called damnweaver.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
about the author
i'm at home in lexington. i love finding little jewels of memories in my family and in my home. when i walked into our computer room, i found a book called 'different poems' by jara sturdivant. 1989 was a pretty pivotal point in my writing career, obviously.
as an eight year old, who was apparently gifted in elementary school, i had the privilege to attend a special summer session called young scholars. it was here that i learned different art techniques, studied different languages and wrote.
so, i picked up this book. i actually remembered when i wrote it and made it. it was a big deal to be able to have my own book. cardboard and some creative wallpaper made for a magical piece of art for an eight-year-old....and even now, a twenty-six-year old.
i read through this book of poems. i noticed when i wrote haikus. i noticed when i was attempting to fill pages. i noticed when i drew with great attention and detail. i saw that even then i had my favorite color, green.
at the end of the book, i wrote a section called 'about the author.'
'jara sturdivant was born in indiana. she is living in tennessee in 1989. she's 8. her hobbies are: swimming, fishing, collecting dolls and stamps, lots more! she loves poems. she has another book called the Farmer Learns his Rabbit Lesson. it's surly a good book.'
i'm not sure what surly means in that sentence. i'm thinking i spelled out what i heard...it's really a good book. so now in 2007 i wonder what i was thinking about when i wrote this book (and the other book, i still have that one, too). i wonder if i imagined reading this as an adult. i'm not sure. but i look back and think about the things that i loved as a child and wonder how those are playing out in my life now. i still write stories and even poems, i just keep them private. i still like being athletic. i'm not in tennessee anymore. but a part of my life is in tennessee...deeply rooted.
so i look at this little book,as amateur as it is, and i think, that this is a piece of my story, a piece of my history. i was an awkward little girl. i didn't fit the stereotypical anything. i had quirks. i had strong opinions. i had a speech problem (ask me about how i pronounce my Rs). i had friends. i had lonliness. i had joy and sadnesses. i had big questions about the world. i had doubts about the world. i loved God with my childlike faith and when i prayed for freckles, i got them.
where are our eight year old selves. what would they think of us? would they recognize us? would we recognize them?
as an eight year old, who was apparently gifted in elementary school, i had the privilege to attend a special summer session called young scholars. it was here that i learned different art techniques, studied different languages and wrote.
so, i picked up this book. i actually remembered when i wrote it and made it. it was a big deal to be able to have my own book. cardboard and some creative wallpaper made for a magical piece of art for an eight-year-old....and even now, a twenty-six-year old.
i read through this book of poems. i noticed when i wrote haikus. i noticed when i was attempting to fill pages. i noticed when i drew with great attention and detail. i saw that even then i had my favorite color, green.
at the end of the book, i wrote a section called 'about the author.'
'jara sturdivant was born in indiana. she is living in tennessee in 1989. she's 8. her hobbies are: swimming, fishing, collecting dolls and stamps, lots more! she loves poems. she has another book called the Farmer Learns his Rabbit Lesson. it's surly a good book.'
i'm not sure what surly means in that sentence. i'm thinking i spelled out what i heard...it's really a good book. so now in 2007 i wonder what i was thinking about when i wrote this book (and the other book, i still have that one, too). i wonder if i imagined reading this as an adult. i'm not sure. but i look back and think about the things that i loved as a child and wonder how those are playing out in my life now. i still write stories and even poems, i just keep them private. i still like being athletic. i'm not in tennessee anymore. but a part of my life is in tennessee...deeply rooted.
so i look at this little book,as amateur as it is, and i think, that this is a piece of my story, a piece of my history. i was an awkward little girl. i didn't fit the stereotypical anything. i had quirks. i had strong opinions. i had a speech problem (ask me about how i pronounce my Rs). i had friends. i had lonliness. i had joy and sadnesses. i had big questions about the world. i had doubts about the world. i loved God with my childlike faith and when i prayed for freckles, i got them.
where are our eight year old selves. what would they think of us? would they recognize us? would we recognize them?
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
overcast days
tomorrow i head to lexington for a family reunion. oh i am so excited. kenley is also attending. we talked on the phone last night for about thirty minutes and i don't remember the last time i laughed so hard. kenley has a way to get me to laugh, really laugh, hold my side and laugh. i fell asleep smiling...and if it were possible i would've definitely fallen asleep laughing.
it's an overcast day here. and i have a lot of work to do. so i leave you with two things. one of my favorite blogs of all time, angela's! and a picture. it's just a closeup of a picture from an earlier post. i just like the two people in this picture.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
sit up straight
okay. i don't sit up straight. i think in the two years of working in an office for eight hours a day i've managed to not sit up straight.
i hunch over at my desk because i'm sure that's more comfortable.
but then when i'm sitting at a table with friends and my head is actually almost resting on the table b/c i'm so hunched over i know that there's a problem.
a serious problem.
on to more interesting things.
i went to breakfast with caleb and daph this weekend. we went to lisa's and it proved to be a good choice. especially for pictures.
notice sweet caleb getting his bike ready for the road and the interesting old lady glaring him and his bike down in the window.
i hunch over at my desk because i'm sure that's more comfortable.
but then when i'm sitting at a table with friends and my head is actually almost resting on the table b/c i'm so hunched over i know that there's a problem.
a serious problem.
on to more interesting things.
i went to breakfast with caleb and daph this weekend. we went to lisa's and it proved to be a good choice. especially for pictures.
notice sweet caleb getting his bike ready for the road and the interesting old lady glaring him and his bike down in the window.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
the secret farts
have you ever smelled a fart and wondered if you might've let one sneak out? that happens to me a lot at the gym. this morning, at 6 a.m., i spelled the worst fart ever. i thought, for sure whoever let that one go will need to go to the bathroom.
nope.
at various intervals, i smelled it...this ominous and overpowering stench.
then i began to notice that my stomach was turning at somewhat similar intervals.
and then, i had this terrible thought. is it me? am i'm the secret farter? and it was mortifying to consider that i could be the one ruining everyone's workout experience.
except when i left, i never smelled that smell again. i know my farts too well. and i shouldn't have ever thought it was me. it was definitely the lady next to me. she looked way too suspicious.
nope.
at various intervals, i smelled it...this ominous and overpowering stench.
then i began to notice that my stomach was turning at somewhat similar intervals.
and then, i had this terrible thought. is it me? am i'm the secret farter? and it was mortifying to consider that i could be the one ruining everyone's workout experience.
except when i left, i never smelled that smell again. i know my farts too well. and i shouldn't have ever thought it was me. it was definitely the lady next to me. she looked way too suspicious.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
question of the day
which is worse:
pooping four times between the hours of 9-5?
or
listening to ub40s red, red wine 8 times between the hours of 9-5?
pooping four times between the hours of 9-5?
or
listening to ub40s red, red wine 8 times between the hours of 9-5?
the booty zoom
(stupid blog spot not working this morning)
well. do you know what the booty zoom is? if not, you're in for a treat.
daphne, mandy, hilary and i went to club nico here in omaha. i know, club nico. anyway, one of our computer guys we've become friends with was having a going away party there. this party included a runway show. i'm not sure how to explain it. i've never really found words for it so i usually just demonstrate with my own model walk.
on a peaceful evening on our staff retreat some of us ventured outside and just talked. this story came up and i thought, i'll demonstrate.
introduce 'the booty zoom.' after video taping the walk, aaron strumpel (our worship leader) played the 20 seconds back to us.
there is a part of my runway walk when i find a chair and stop. i put my hands on the chair and pose. vogue. vogue.
so, while watching the video, aaron realized that he didn't get that part of the runway walk...hence the booty zoom.
oh crap, the booty.
well. do you know what the booty zoom is? if not, you're in for a treat.
daphne, mandy, hilary and i went to club nico here in omaha. i know, club nico. anyway, one of our computer guys we've become friends with was having a going away party there. this party included a runway show. i'm not sure how to explain it. i've never really found words for it so i usually just demonstrate with my own model walk.
on a peaceful evening on our staff retreat some of us ventured outside and just talked. this story came up and i thought, i'll demonstrate.
introduce 'the booty zoom.' after video taping the walk, aaron strumpel (our worship leader) played the 20 seconds back to us.
there is a part of my runway walk when i find a chair and stop. i put my hands on the chair and pose. vogue. vogue.
so, while watching the video, aaron realized that he didn't get that part of the runway walk...hence the booty zoom.
oh crap, the booty.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
the beginning of a week
not much time to chat on this here bloggy thingy.
it's monday.
seriously.
more later.
until then. jazz hands.
it's monday.
seriously.
more later.
until then. jazz hands.
Friday, August 17, 2007
the end of a week
it's friday. it's really friday. between sipping cold coffee and workign in indesign, i've found a bit of inspiration, which is hard on friday.
i've laid on a bookshelf talking to mandy. i've chatted with marcia over my computer. i've debated how peaches turn brown quickly when cut. and i've listened to common.
and i've worked, hard.
the servant teams are almost all in their respective locations. big sigh of relief from me.
the weekend starts in less than five hours. one of my hopes this weekend is to go to sakura bana, eat sushi and read. and i can't wait.
anyway. nothing witty today. a bit tired. but monday, watch out.
i've laid on a bookshelf talking to mandy. i've chatted with marcia over my computer. i've debated how peaches turn brown quickly when cut. and i've listened to common.
and i've worked, hard.
the servant teams are almost all in their respective locations. big sigh of relief from me.
the weekend starts in less than five hours. one of my hopes this weekend is to go to sakura bana, eat sushi and read. and i can't wait.
anyway. nothing witty today. a bit tired. but monday, watch out.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
and yes, i do sweat
i think i get it from my dad. we sweat, a lot.
there are times i feel like i'm drowning in my sweat. literally. i'll sweat from corners of my body that i didn't even know had sweat ducts. i can tell you all about it if you're interested.
this is why i like winter and general cold weather. i would rather be freezing cold than be sweaty.
when i'm nervous, i sweat.
when i work out, i sweat.
when i'm remotely hot, i sweat.
so i had to take a picture of my sweatiness from today. after leading prayer here in the office and going through some apparent anxiety, i left with not only some prayer requests but the typical signs of sweaty jara.
exhibit a:
there are times i feel like i'm drowning in my sweat. literally. i'll sweat from corners of my body that i didn't even know had sweat ducts. i can tell you all about it if you're interested.
this is why i like winter and general cold weather. i would rather be freezing cold than be sweaty.
when i'm nervous, i sweat.
when i work out, i sweat.
when i'm remotely hot, i sweat.
so i had to take a picture of my sweatiness from today. after leading prayer here in the office and going through some apparent anxiety, i left with not only some prayer requests but the typical signs of sweaty jara.
exhibit a:
is that someone's wallet
after running some errands together, chris and i were leaving the target parking lot. he has this new gps device that he was plugging my address into so we could see how it worked.
he had to pull over.
and he saw a wallet on the ground. he picks it up. we go through it. no numbers.
so the plan was for me to take it home and google it.
didn't need to. found a number. and called it.
and i gave the wallet back to the guy.
he offered me $10. i didn't take it. but what i thought afterwards was have we as a society lost our trust in people to think that we would actually have to pay someone for doing the right thing?
anyway, it was just a thought.
he had to pull over.
and he saw a wallet on the ground. he picks it up. we go through it. no numbers.
so the plan was for me to take it home and google it.
didn't need to. found a number. and called it.
and i gave the wallet back to the guy.
he offered me $10. i didn't take it. but what i thought afterwards was have we as a society lost our trust in people to think that we would actually have to pay someone for doing the right thing?
anyway, it was just a thought.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
thrift world
thrift world introduced me to my new favorite jeans. gap, long and lean. these jeans would normally run you about $60 a pair, but i found them at thrift world for $7.
this is why i heart them.
i found a pair at 1/2 of 1/2 clothing or something (this great discount store in omaha) and tried them on. the wash was less than desirable. but when i looked in the mirror, i had to say to myself, yes, i do like the junk in my trunk :).
so i went on a hunt to find a good pair, and yep, definitely found them.
if you're looking for a comfortable jean that:
* doesn't have to be washed every day
* is flattering no matter your height or size
* makes you smile when you look in the mirror
go with the gap long and lean
if you're looking for a comfortable jean that:
* makes you say to yourself, oh snap, yes, i do like the junk in my trunk
* flatters fuller hips, bottom and thighs
* makes you want to play it's gettin' hot in herre
go with the apple bottoms
happy jean shopping.
this is why i heart them.
Our best-selling jean is instantly slimming and gives the illusion of longer legs, while still providing a generous fit for all sizes.
- High-quality stretch denim with fading and handsanding (wash may vary slightly).
- Sits low on the waist, slightly relaxed through the hip and thigh, flared leg opening.
- 5-pocket styling, deep hem, grinding at pockets and hem.
i found a pair at 1/2 of 1/2 clothing or something (this great discount store in omaha) and tried them on. the wash was less than desirable. but when i looked in the mirror, i had to say to myself, yes, i do like the junk in my trunk :).
so i went on a hunt to find a good pair, and yep, definitely found them.
if you're looking for a comfortable jean that:
* doesn't have to be washed every day
* is flattering no matter your height or size
* makes you smile when you look in the mirror
go with the gap long and lean
if you're looking for a comfortable jean that:
* makes you say to yourself, oh snap, yes, i do like the junk in my trunk
* flatters fuller hips, bottom and thighs
* makes you want to play it's gettin' hot in herre
go with the apple bottoms
happy jean shopping.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
treadmill
forty five minutes later, well, forty three minutes later, i finished running four miles. for the past couple of months i've told myself that i can run 20-25 minutes. by the end of that time i'm huffing and puffing and feel like i've done something really good for my body, which is true. but you have to know, i also do a class called body attack. it's an hour long class that is intensive and hard. so i know, i can do some type of cardio for an hour.
it's just convincing my mind i can do it.
it's no longer a fight to convince my body to do it. i know i can...but i usually can really psych myself out.
but yesterday it was on and popping. i put in a 45 minute running track from nike (courtesy of michaella) and i flung a towel over the treadmill lights. and i started running. i did glance at the clock on the wall and told myself when it was 4:30 i would look to see if i had run 3 miles yet.
so. i ran. and ran. counted down time. looked at people at the gym. listened to my music.
and looked at the treadmill time at 4:30 and realized i had actually run 3.5 miles.
i was so happy that i kept running...and four miles later. i ran four miles. i could officially run a 5 k.
and that was fantastic.
more later. i will tell you about my favorite jeans.
it's just convincing my mind i can do it.
it's no longer a fight to convince my body to do it. i know i can...but i usually can really psych myself out.
but yesterday it was on and popping. i put in a 45 minute running track from nike (courtesy of michaella) and i flung a towel over the treadmill lights. and i started running. i did glance at the clock on the wall and told myself when it was 4:30 i would look to see if i had run 3 miles yet.
so. i ran. and ran. counted down time. looked at people at the gym. listened to my music.
and looked at the treadmill time at 4:30 and realized i had actually run 3.5 miles.
i was so happy that i kept running...and four miles later. i ran four miles. i could officially run a 5 k.
and that was fantastic.
more later. i will tell you about my favorite jeans.
Monday, August 13, 2007
no, really, i do like the junk in my trunk
well. it's official. i've started yet another blog. i've dragged my feet on starting a new blog...i couldn't figure out a good name and i thought that was a good sign i shouldn't start yet another one, but alas, here i am with a run-on sentence and another blog.
since starting weight watchers on december 2, i've lost some weight.
and some people said they don't want me to get too skinny.
shoot. neither do i.
and that is where my blog came from.
because, truly, to the end of time, verily, yes, i do like the junk in my trunk.
here's to applebottom jeans and loving the junk in my trunk,
js
since starting weight watchers on december 2, i've lost some weight.
and some people said they don't want me to get too skinny.
shoot. neither do i.
and that is where my blog came from.
because, truly, to the end of time, verily, yes, i do like the junk in my trunk.
here's to applebottom jeans and loving the junk in my trunk,
js
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