the secret farts

have you ever smelled a fart and wondered if you might've let one sneak out? that happens to me a lot at the gym. this morning, at 6 a.m., i spelled the worst fart ever. i thought, for sure whoever let that one go will need to go to the bathroom.

nope.

at various intervals, i smelled it...this ominous and overpowering stench.

then i began to notice that my stomach was turning at somewhat similar intervals.

and then, i had this terrible thought. is it me? am i'm the secret farter? and it was mortifying to consider that i could be the one ruining everyone's workout experience.

except when i left, i never smelled that smell again. i know my farts too well. and i shouldn't have ever thought it was me. it was definitely the lady next to me. she looked way too suspicious.