faith

as i was in our office bathroom i had this thought. i had left my desk with a few emails waiting to be sent. these emails were 'then what' or 'if...then' or 'in case of' emails. aka the covering all bases in case something doesn't fall through emails.

i write emails like that pretty often. i also write letters like that often...those letters usually have to do with support.

to me, today, and some other days, faith is letting go of what you think of is as control and letting God move through you and/or others.

pushup-a thon!

freedom

(this is taken from my mom's blog)

this is a picture of my tattoo (i'll write more about this tattoo later)

Juneteenth is the oldest nationally celebrated commemoration of the ending of slavery in the United States.

Some communites across our country mark this day with speeches, songs, parades, and picnics. This day can also provide an opportunity for individuals and communites reflect on the historical and personal significance of this day. An interesting note, the Emancipation Proclamation was signed by President Lincoln on January 1, 1863, this news did not reach parts of Texas until June 19th. Thus, the name of the holiday.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emancipation_Proclamation

Reflecting beyond slavery in the United States, I pause and look at the Israelites in bondage in Egypt... and the reason God said Let my people go... it is good to remember the cost, value and reason for freedom.

oh my word

http://firstsamuel712.blogspot.com/2009/06/missionary-spotlight-monday-meet-jara.html

homesick

i don't think i'll ever grow out of being homesick. today i realized what it means to me.

certain people make me feel at home with myself...and feel at home means...i feel safe. i obviously feel at home and safe with my parents. it was sad to see them leave omaha. i always get a little misty eyed when they leave. i'm thankful today for the people who have established home and safety with me in the past year. last year today my friend noemi and i were huddled in the basement of the YMCA waiting out that huge storm from last year. i knew we'd become friends and we did. in trying to find literal safety from a storm...we found friendship. since then i've made new friendships and deepened others. these friendships have been like family to me. i can't say they are REALLY my family because nothing replaces the Js...but they're right there like family.

and all of that to say. i'm so homesick i am already trying to figure out when i can go to lexington to see my family again.

picture taker

ever wonder why i love to take pictures so much? i love that you can look at a photo and be whisked back into a world full of memories. that happens to me when i hear certain songs or smell certain fragrances. i love taking photos. and so does my mom! check out her great photos from her and dad's vacay in omaha.

full

i love when my parents come to visit. they bring me the sense of home that i'm sometimes longing for and missing in omaha.

this afternoon i finally took some time off and spent time with my mom and dad. we had lunch with kenley and the museum and saw one of the new exhibits. then we went to the hotel where i did the sturdivant nap. i couldnt' function anymore. it's like all of a sudden i felt safe and comfortable. so i took a nap.

then we had dinner together at goldbergs II. i love that place. it's so good. but the best part was all of the laughter that we shared and the stories we shared. it was so much fun. i was full of love.

four years, june 8, 2005

four years ago i started working at wmf fulltime.
it's been an incredible four years full of ups and downs...challenges and inspirations and excitements and sorrows and joys and fullness and loneliness and friendship and community and all of those things.

some of my favorite memories:

• field visit to sierra leone with marcaia. sitting in the london airport. we made small incremental goals in order to stay up and wait for our flight to board. just five more minutes...five more minutes. i ended by putting my head on her shoulder and us both falling asleep.
• celebrating the wedding of daphne and caleb! happy one year!
  
• welcoming kenley to omaha! and living .8 miles from each other.
  
• welcoming my brother to omaha!
• planting a garden at k's.
• sad memory...losing my sweet saab of a car to the flood of 08.
• happy memory. meeting my friend noemi in the basement of the Y. we have our friendversary on june 11. we're so excited.
  
• having some really good friends visit omaha. allison, brittany and elizabeth, jason and more!
  
• wmf redesign! (wordmadeflesh.org). caused me one panic attack and several restless nights but it was worth it in the end.
  
• making new friends and deepening old friendships!
• getting engaged to my best friend! and planning a wedding with some of our closest friends and family. it's been so fun celebrating love.
  
• learning what it means to be a 6. rough times i tell you.
• my apartment. my apartment has been such a home for me these four years. i've never lived in one place on my own this long.
• sleepovers with my friend dotty aka liz. we had a lost marathon. we'll pick it up soon. but until then i'm going to watch harry potter with her. that's our summer marathon.
• having sami over to watch biggest loser and so you think you can dance.
  
• releasing daph into her sabbatical!
  
• celebrating matt neher's law school graduation! rachelle's massage therapy graduation! and mike's medical school graduation!
  
• learning what it means to be african american and a woman.
  
• reading good books.
  
• watching good movies.
• releasing brent into his sabbatical!
  
• laughing a lot more than usual (especially this past month)
• receiving sweet gifts and lovely items in the mail.
• trader joe's strawberries. um. i love them and the friends who send them.
• engagement cards. those make me happy.
• and resting.
  

those are mostly memories from this year. but in any case, it's been fun.

loved

i usually spend my fridays doing laundry and going to bed early. this evening i and some friends went and had dinner, drinks and then stopped by the joslyn for the end of their gala. we celebrated an amazing event with our friends and now i'm at home.

i'm very full of love and happy that friday was fun.

the enneagram soundtrack

The enneagram soundtrack.

This morning a few of us met for prayer at mandy’s house and we began talking about the enneagram. Somehow I got stuck on picking names for each number. I need to fill in a lot...if you know your number and know a good song that would reflect your number lyrically and musically, write it!

Here’s my attempt.

1. The reformer, Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective, Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced
a. Suggestion
2. The helper, Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved, Basic Desire: To feel loved
a. Song: “I Want You to Want Me”
b. Some lyrics: I want you to want me. I need you to need me. Id love you to love me.
3. The achiever, Basic Fear: Of being worthless, Basic Desire: To feel valuable and worthwhile
a. Suggestion
4. The individualist, Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance, Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)
a. Suggestion
5. The investigator, Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable, Basic Desire: To be capable and competent
a. Suggestion
6. The loyalist, Basic Fear: Of being without support and guidance, Basic Desire: To have security and support
a. Song: “Somebody’s Watching Me”
b. Some lyrics: I always feel like somebody’s watching me…
7. The enthusiast, Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain, Basic Desire: To be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilled
a. Suggestion
8. The challenger, Basic Fear: Of being harmed or controlled by others, Basic Desire: To protect themselves (to be in control of their own life and destiny)
a. Suggestion
9. The peacemaker, Basic Fear: Of loss and separation, Basic Desire: To have inner stability "peace of mind"
a. Song: Happy Christmas (War is Over)
b. Some lyrics: Let's stop all the fight