exhausted

I’m not sure how it happened, but it did. I felt the weight and speed of the past year catch up with me in one swift moment. i should’ve been prepared for it. I had an inkling it was about to happen. My nights have been more restless. My thoughts have been more scattered. and my days seem to only know how to drag on, slowly. My prayers have been short and desperate.

And that’s how I come to you. I am incredibly thankful for how you’ve surrounded me with your prayers and support throughout my life. if that’s through being one of my first best friends in high school…or a roommate in college…or a camp mate at some point…or a friend whom I’ve met along the way. Each of you have been an essential part of my life.

So, here I am - as transparent as I can be via the world wide web internet (I had to throw some humor in there).

This past year I made a decision to dig my heels in deep in raising my support with word made flesh. I’ve dedicated a large chunk of my time every Friday to write letters to friends and family members. I treasure the somewhat uninterrupted time of slowing down and writing old-school letters. through my letters I attempt to catch people up on what I’m doing in wmf, how I’m doing in Omaha and I also try to invite them to partner with me in the ministry of wmf. If I’m not writing, I’m trying to figure out how raising support should work.

And let’s be honest. It’s exhausting and it doesn’t feel sustainable now. And right now, my prayer is that I can go one day without thinking about raising support – basically, my salary. We’re going on 548 + days.

I don’t want to have to find new and creative ways to ask for support. I don’t want to wordsmith my way into your hearts and prayers. I don’t want to bold numbers…or italicize words. I don’t want to treat you like that. I just want to be me and ask for your prayers. I need help.

This pace has been hard. Really hard. And I need a miracle. Really, I need someone to carry me for awhile because this has become really heavy.

So. I’m asking for prayers. Prayers for miracles. Prayers for sustainability. Prayers for hope. Prayers for some people to carry me for just a little bit…well, maybe a bit longer than a little bit, what about a lot a bit. Thank you.