hello summer...why do you cry?

Summer arrived in Omaha with a bang. Thunder, lightning and rain. I was amazed at the fury at which mother nature found us waiting for summer....I got up late this morning and recorded a quick video to congratulate everyone who participated on the 31 days til summer challenge.

It was then that I found it fitting that summer arrived with a rain shower, at least for me. I'm at home on a vacation day spending time with my mom and dad. There are times in our lives where we can say, I have achieved selflessness, x, y and z, but then as soon as I'm in relationship with someone those very things that I held onto as achieved come crashing down.

When rain shows up, it can wash away things that we're done with, things that should go off into the abyss of nature...and then it also exposes things that we thought we had dealt with. I find myself being shown grace and mercy every day through friends and family. I am allowing the grace of God to wash over me today...and invite me into this new season.

I saw summer with new eyes today and i'm glad. I did my p90x...which was 90 minutes of yoga...and dang, every single time I do it, there will be tears. I'm not sure what will be happening with me, but I'll only be by myself...I must face myself in those moments....my fragility, my utter dependence on God and God's creation. It's weird, during the stretches I'll see my leg and notice the little mole that i've had on my leg for my entire life...i'll notice the color of my skin...i'll notice my hair is getting longer...and then I'll hear my parents walking around upstairs in our house and I can't help but be incredibly grateful and thankful for God and the way that God created my family and then me.

And then, I do look at my skin, dang, it's kind of nice, looks like chocolate and I'm glad. I'm falling in love with myself more and more each day...not in that prideful don't mess with me way, but you know what, I've had years of looking at myself and yelling at my body for not doing things another way or not looking another way, but today, I choose to embrace the body God has given me....mind, body and soul and allow God to continue to mold me! If I can't love myself...then how in the world can I really love anyone else...treat your neighbor as yourself...thoughts? questions?

LOVE. me.