rainy evenings

I'm thankful for the rainy evening that we're sharing with the rest of Omaha today. I'm hanging out with Dolly and Kenley. It's one of the first nights that we've all been at home in quite awhile...it's been over a week. We finally went grocery shopping..it's definitely been over a week. I can't remember the last time that I had some fruit. That was a scary realization. I was living on different forms of refined sugar and really delicious treats and lots of gluten. I could totally feel the effect those decisions had on my body. What i've noticed is that when I'm tired or stressed, my eating goes out of the window. It's the one thing that I don't have to really watch in the midst of a busy or stressful time. But then that decision really comes back to haunt me in the form of a stomachache. I can remember going to sleepovers as a kid way back when and eating way too much because of my nerves or excitement...and then getting really sick and spending the night in the bathroom. Food has been much more of a companion to my feelings than even I have. I know my feelings are there, and sometimes it is easier to not deal with them and just allow them to be covered by food. But I challenge myself....to release my emotions. They won't overwhelm me to the point where I can't move....I mean...even if they do, I will make it, I will be okay.

So on this rainy evening, I'm thankful that I'm finally able to just rest and just be. It's been a really long few weeks and I really needed a night to just let the events of the last few weeks to just hit me...and not control me. And tomorrow, what will grow? What will be greener? What will surprise me?