i am not my hair

First of a few blog posts about what people want to hear about...this one is about my hair....or my haiirrree if you might say.

So, I’m going to write about my hair. I forgot that I haven’t really talked about how I’m ‘feeling’ about the process or anything. Thanks Chris for reminding me !

This week I haven’t really paid attention to my hair. It is still sort of straight from Sunday. I feel like I’m not sure how to relate to my hair in this in between stage. It’s sort of relaxed (chemically processed) with maybe an inch or so of new growth (unprocessed hair). I’m in a weird holding pattern until I make my appointment for May. When I think about May and my haircut, I’m excited and really nervous. I have no idea what my hair will look like or feel like. It’s like being set up on a blind-date with myself. I hope that I like my hair…I hope my hair likes me…will we have anything to talk about...

But I am nervous. There have been times when I’ve wondered, why not just keep going how I have been going. Why not? It’s easy. I guess that’s life though. Change may or may not feel good. But change is necessary.

I will definitely take photos of my hair when I get it cut. I can’t wait to see what it feels like and what it looks like. I’ve lived my adult life with shoulder length ish hair. And then I’ll have a TWA – teeny weenie afro.

I thought today that how often do I look at myself or a part of my body and wish that it looked a different way. I never let my body be my body in the present. I’m on this…live in the present kick….and I think that my body wants me to learn that for my body. I have to show myself grace and appreciate my body for what it looks like now and what it can do now. I can run a few miles inside and outside without passing out. I can lead a few cardio classes at the gym without embarrassing myself. And I can enjoy my hair even in this weird stage. It’s the hair of transition….it’s not where you want to be, but it is where it is. And that’s okay.