last night and old friend and i reconnected. she's on her way to portland. she mentioned that she was excited to be in the midst of creative people. before spending a year traveling the world with a mission organization, she worked in the corporate world where she thought she might have lost a part of herself.
i remember using that phrase four years ago. i was working at banana republic and an ad agency. there was a moment i told one of my friends that i didn't feel like myself anymore. i just went through the motions.
lately i've felt like i've lost a bit of myself that i need to recover.
i love to write. that's what i went to school for...for six years. i wrote for papers, i managed a paper, i helped start a spanish-english paper for lexington, i worked with high school students from inner-city memphis as they wrote for a monthly paper. i edited. i designed. i had deadlines. i interviewed. i dreamed. i wrote. i recorded.
last week i found some of my grad work on a jump drive. i went through it and thought, oh my, i wrote and i wrote a lot. and i read a lot.
and now i miss it. i've been working on one article for the cry and i've struggled to write it. i'm out of practice i guess. and i kind of default to this non-writer. and i shrug my shoulders and continue on going through some of the motions.
it's hard because i know that we are called to submit and lay down our educations, experiences and offer them to the poor. but i have a weird idea of service. i've imagined it as doing things that you hate or aren't good at for the sake of doing them. and i don't know what is right.
that's it.
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