cleanse

sorry my posts have been so cleanse-y orientated. i really haven't felt this good in a long time...especially in my digestive area. i decided to skip out on going to weight watchers until after the wedding and especially during the cleanse. so many times i've done these types of things to lose weight...that my friend can turn into a frightening evil and distant cousin of healthy eating - an out of control eating obsession and sometimes even an eating disorder. i didn't go on the cleanse intending to lose weight. i mainly went on the cleanse because i saw how stressed i had been in the past year and how that directly impacted my food intake. fortunately i work out enough not to put on the pounds fast, but my workouts didn't curb my stress eating. i've noticed i can feel the stress in a different way these days. i also feel like i can experience my emotions in a different way, they almost feel tangible. it's hard to explain. and i'm not sure if i even should. it has to be experienced by only one person, me...and maybe one day you.

we all have our coping mechanisms. we don't want to face the things that are painful or scary about ourselves. it's easier to hide them behind food, entertainment, mindless chatter, books. but when we face ourselves it is scary, but it is okay. we sometimes have to learn to recognize ourselves again as God created us...beloved despite ourselves.