sweaty palms

my anxiousness usually finds me in my dreams. sometimes i dream about the cry. sometimes i dream about money. but last night i dreamt about the elections.

so this morning when i woke up, i turned the television on and saw three political ads back to back. then meet the press.

my stomach literally dropped. it could be because i need to poop. but i'd like to think that i'm a little anxious about the election.

but what i'm realizing is that i'm not anxious at all about the candidates. really. i'm not. i prefer one to the other. i feel confident in my decision. i don't feel like i need to defend it. and i really don't feel like i need to badger someone else to change their decision. (i did do that two a couple of close friends). but i think that they know it's out of love :). but really though. they weren't heated conversations.

what i'm anxious about is how this election has brought out the worst of both parties. i am a bit biased and tend to feel that there's a particular party who has taken their fight a little too far. but i admit, i'm biased. it saddens me that people have gotten so caught up in their side. that's the problem...their side. there's no talk about our side, our country or our problems...or solutions. it's our party's side, country, solutions, numbers, electoral votes. if you're not THEIR side, you're on the wrong side and it becomes political, spiritual and personal. i look at my friends in a different light when they send me THOSE emails...my palms are sweaty when i see a particularly obnoxious blog comment. and i ask...who are you? who are these people? i had no idea that it would come down to this.

anyway. i'm happy because the time changed. im happy because it is beautiful outside.