there's a running route that i've been taking this week. when you leave my apartment, you take a left and start running downhill...then it's uphill...three long, serious uphill runs. my legs burn, my lungs burn with them...and i just look at the ground, right in front of me.
my brother brought me a book on running for women several years ago. i refer to it when i need help on training or need to research about certain injuries. they suggest looking right ahead of you when running uphill. there's something psychological when you look ahead and see a huge long hill ahead of you. your body actually produces some warning signs to try and convince you to stop. our bodies are pretty amazing. you know that feeling...that whole lactic acid feeling...that's actually fuel for your muscles but it doesn't really feel that good.
so. the uphill. burning legs...burning lungs. what's happening. my body is actually going through data and determining that this activity or level of exertion is new and it begins processing the likelihood that i'll be able to make it. THEN. you see the end of the hill, your body actually releases some feel good chemicals and you get your second wind. your body knows you're about to stop.
anyway. that's why i love running. it's complicated, complex and beautiful.
i remember two years ago when i was trying to run on the treadmill at the Y. i could barely last ten minutes without sweating or breathing incredibly heavily. now i can run for at least 50 minutes...it's crazy. i look behind me and see all of these milestones that didn't really seem significant until now. i'm so close to getting to my goal weight these days that all i can do is look one step ahead of me. 80 pounds later i have just around 10 pounds left...and it's super intimidating to look at...my palms begin to sweat, my heart begins to beat a little too quickly...and for a second, i want to turn around and give up...or wait a little.
but as i look around i see where i've come from and there's no way i want to go back to that person. i hid in pictures. i wore guachos a little too much. i had one pair of jeans that still fit me. i made my car lean a little too far when i got in it. i hated walking up stairs. i avoided the gym.
it's been quite a journey and i've had some of the most supportive people around me in my life. thank you for joining me in this.
:)
i really do love the junk in my trunk :)
1 comment:
I'm gonna try that. I hate hills; for real. When you come visit we'll go run in Forest Park; Art Hill kills me! I've started counting my steps though, and somehow it takes my mind off of the fact that the hill is my Everest. heheh Though I'm not sure I can run for 50 minutes... you may have me beat:)
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