negative (repost from facebook)

i wanted to give you a quick update on my trip to sierra leone.

after thinking about it and praying about it, i've decided that i may need to postpone my trip to sierra leone which is sad.

my support account is around -750 now which means after purchasing a plane ticket and any other travel expenses...it would be negative -3000 or so...and then after a salary being pulled...you get the idea. uber negative.

i'm a little heartbroken. i wanted to be able to support our staff there and meet their friends and share their stories.

it's been a long and hard week. i'm going to take the weekend to pray and discern this decision...and see if it's really based on the right motives.

it's been a long and hard three years of raising support...which has always felt like somewhat of a fight for me. it's never really gotten easier for me. so it's not just about not being able to go on a field visit. it ends up being more about trying to raise my support each month.

so yeah. my mom said lots of encouraging things to me yesterday...

granted she did start the conversation with 'you're complaining.'

but i'll end with things that i'm clinging to.
In was giving thanks in the midst of deep pain. Whatever struggle, thank God for the struggle. Continue to ask him for provision.

Simply thank God. Rest and trust God. You have said you are tired and exhausted, dont keep repeating that... remember all the answers to pray that you have think about the faithfulness of God, remember those things. Ask God to show himself mighty.

For a long time, I carried around alot of worry. Once I truly gave up the worry. It was a like weight off my back. the next day.... I really felt free. When, I started worrying, I remember, I could trust God. It has been a life altering experience... to truly rest in God. When God answers the prayer. Whether you go in May or a little later. Remember, shout, dance, and praise God.

When you want to worry about this, remember, you have permission to rest in God. I love you.