Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The life of a retailer...

I live the life of a retailer. I get my schedule for the next week the Wednesday before the actual week. I can't overly plan anymore. I sometimes work late shifts and don't eat enough. Last night I thought I'd eaten something during the day, but clearly at 7 pm when I had a sinking spell (that's what Mom calls it) I knew that the few chocolate covered almonds and latte did not cover it.

I'm up a little later tonight because for the past two nights I had to awake...it takes me a little time to adjust to finding the natural resting point in my evening. I'm getting there. I heard the distant horn of some trains. The traffic has slowed around our house. And I can hear two snores from our bedroom, the husband and the dog.

As I've started to unwind these days and months I started to become much more aware of the genuine and deep friendships and relationships I have with people around me – starting with my husband.

So long to the days when I would come home emotionally spent and drained to the point of emotional exhaustion.

And hello to the moments when I catch myself clasping my hands and jumping for joy at a simple and much needed addition to closet. (I got home last night or some night and noticed that my closet was lit up...I usually use my cellphone to fumble around my closet in the morning. K installed a simple lantern and now I can see!)

I catch myself feeling like I just got married...maybe this is normal, who knows, but I feel like each day as I feel more and more like myself...I'm falling more and more in love.

The life of a retailer will do that to you...it's caused me to evaluate what's happening around me, in my life and to those around me...and I feel a new sensitivity and intuition and appreciation for what's happening around me.

I feel like my senses are reawakening and I couldn't be more excited. 

Monday, December 6, 2010

Stillness and streams and streams of consciousness

There are a few birds still hanging out in Omaha these days - I can hear them from my new little office (aka the desk in the corner). Dolly has managed to fall asleep on the coach beside me. She has a gentle snore that matches her gentle eyes.

I think my neighbors came home, or maybe they left, but I just heard the familiar creak of the stairs. I have to remember that Kenley isn't home yet, today, Monday, is my day off for now.

This morning was full of a slow and labored wake up and met with a conversation with a friend that left me inspired.

I am still unwinding from a crazy few months. When i'm still I can listen to what my heart is saying and what the Divine is trying to get through my head.

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A dear friend gave me a candle for my times of stillness, meditation, mindfulness and prayer. You can call it whatever you want it. I haven't lit the candle yet. The candle sits next to my computer and when I look at it i'm reminded that I should pause. And secondly, I look to the right to a plaque another dear friend gave me - daydream. I love daydreaming.

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I sometimes get surprised at what I hear myself say...in a conversation I mentioned to someone that if you get to write the rules, it's a lot easier to be able to follow them, and when you want to change them, you can change them. As I thought of that more, I wondered, who gets to write the rules and why?

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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Seeking Shangri-La Inside My Cubicle

Here's my latest article from Omaha.net. It gives a little summary of the past couple of months.

My last day at my place of former employment was September 30. I, like many other folks in Omaha and around the country, entered into the realms of unemployment. I found a placement with a temporary agency and was making phone calls for a local non-profit.

Sitting in a cubicle for six hours, with no computer, no friendly banter with coworkers, having only a telephone and a list, was apparently just what I needed.

I lasted there a week and one day.

I had an epiphany on one of my rides to work. Driving on I-80, I began to think about what gave me the most passion, when was I in the flow.

Health.

My story with health is kind of wild. When I arrived in Omaha, I weighed a little over 200 pounds. You need to know, I’m just 5 foot 4 and a half (again, in full disclosure I asked my doctor if I could round up to 5 foot 5, she said no). I’d played soccer all through elementary and high school. I loved running. I was in shape. But something about being in graduate school and living on my own opened the door to pretty bad habits—enter Betty Crocker and Reese’s cups for dinner.

I got to Omaha and continued to put on the weight. My parents gently invited me to consider an alternate way of living, and I entered a local weight loss program. In that program, I met a number of women struggling with the similar problems. I lost almost 100 pounds, and I thought that I was on top of the world.

Then reality hit me. Being healthy isn’t just about eating a certain amount of calories or exercising a certain amount of time. Being healthy is about eating nutritious foods that fuel the body, exercising, and tending to inward health…and a lot of other things, but eating nutritious food, exercising, and tending to my inward health are the areas of my latest focus.

About a year ago, I was introduced to clean eating (aka if a 7-year-old can’t pronounce the ingredient, you shouldn’t eat it) and mindful eating.

I began to think about the ways that local weight loss program got it right—watching portions, listening to when your body is full. And then I thought what was I missing at the program: the emotional engagement and accompaniment.

There are really great weight loss coaches who are there every step of the way, but I needed more than how was your week…I needed how did you grow up with food types of things and how was your week, really.

Clean eating can be daunting, but there are a lot of tools out there that I’ve found to be incredibly helpful. Michael Pollan is one of my favorite authors and someone I look up to in regards to food and clean eating. From Food Rules, In Defense of Food, to the Omnivore’s Dilemma, Pollan offers the reader ways to engage their community and environment in new and dynamic ways—through eating and choosing foods.

I also recommend another book, Savor, by Dr. Lilian Cheung and Thich Nhat Hanh. Both Cheung and Hanh remind us to slow down in a number of ways —not just with eating—but also with how we are in such a quick movement to the next thing.

Daily Grub, a local restaurant here in Omaha, has an open table for you to eat and experience whole and local food. Bring cash, they don’t accept credit cards and bring your appetite. Nom nom nom.

There are lots of ways to incorporate healthy living these days. We have access to a lot around us, but sometimes our bodies have ways of telling us when to slow down and ways of choosing health—listen to it.

Maybe eat a few extra vegetables during those parties. Maybe write a letter to a loved one and also give him/her a call. And maybe get those eight hours of sleep you were thinking about.

I know the holidays can sometimes get the best of us, but maybe this time we can make an early resolution for our health instead of waiting until January 1, 2011.

When we’re able to access our emotions and full health we make some damn good community members.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Holiday Hustle

A good friend reminded me of the time I did this fun countdown til summer thang....so, here we have the holiday hustle. Same idea...we have lots of holiday things coming up and I know for me that I don't always take care of myself very well. I also hate the winter and sort of want to give up on life. But this winter I want to choose to at least show up...here's my list:

Write a letter a week and actually mail it
Meditate, pray & journal each day
Put together a puzzle instead of watching tv (I need to find a puzzle)!
Run and lift 3/days a week
Work out even though I'm exhausted from work
Run the stairs at the Y monthly
Celebrate NSV (non-scale victories)
Set a goal for my 30th bday (Mar 1, 2011! WOOHOO) (30 til 30! I want to lose 30 pounds by my 30th bday...let's do it to it!)
Make a savings plan
Walk Dolly even when it's cold

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

quick update

I didn't realize that being in front of a computer so often during the day gave me more time to type and blog :) SO, I'm on my feet most of the day working at Trader Joe's...

I'm burning around 3600-4100 calories a day...just by working on my feet. It's kind of a nice change from sitting in a desk 8 hours a day. I just need to figure out how to still work out when i'm dead tired...and still be a functioning person in my family. :)

Any ideas? If you work on your feet all day...how do you not get exhaaaaausted?!?!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Do you love me?



When was the last time you told yourself: I love you? 

No, really. This will be a short little blog...if you're reading this via facebook, twitter or plain ole blogger...leave a comment.

Let your comment be:

I love you, your nameYour name.

ex: I love you, Jara. Jara

Monday, November 1, 2010

Transition: Another First Week

I started working at Trader Joe's last week. Everything was a whirlwind a few weeks ago...I kept driving to my temp job, praying for clarity in this cloudiness of transition. I applied at Trader Joes...had a pretty fun interview and was offered a job the next day...I promptly accepted the job :).

I took one more day of jaraployment and then made my way into another first week. Working at TJ was a decision that I felt I needed to make in response to what and how I feel God moving in my life. I enjoy working with women and helping them find ways to be healthy (mind, body and soul) and TJ is a place that I can work, learn from others and have benefits :) dental, vision? Yes, please.

But more than what TJ offers me in benefits, I'm inspired by being surrounded by a number of people in career changes. From djs to social workers, I fit in this group of transitioning people. And I'm pretty darn comfortable and ready to grow.

Here's to my second week at Tjs. :)