the deals you make

before i start this post i need to share something with you. SOMEONE STOLE from our garden. :(. i'm so sad. when i went inside to ask k if he had picked the bell pepper and our garden salsa peppers, i expected him to say yes...but when he said no, we realized that someone got to our food before us. sharing is hard, isn't it? especially when you aren't asked.


alright. now to the blog.
have you made deals with yourself? examples: diet starts monday! i'll workout tomorrow....i'll do x, y, z tomorrow. as soon as i'm down this many pounds, i'll do this.

i have used those excuses at some point in my life. i remember eating an enormous amount of junk food on a sunday thinking that on monday all of my troubles would disappear and i'd have a renewed sense of commitment to eating well. or i'd leave work and pass the gym promising myself that tomorrow i'd work out. i never did start eating well on monday and i didn't get to the gym b/c something else would seem like fun. most of the time i would come home from work, take a nap and then eat something delicious like cookie dough. i recently thought about what i was thinking during that time. i had gone through a pretty significant break up when i was in grad school and my eating habits began to change. i still worked out but i ate for companionship. that same behavior followed me to omaha. i was living in a city that didn't seem familiar and the only familiar thing was food. so, many pounds later, i would breathe heavily when climbing the stairs, i would notice how my car would lean when i got in it, i noticed how i couldnt' buckle the airplane seatbelt that easily...and my parents offered to pay for WW. and that's where my journey with WW started.

as i started to lose weight i made a new deal. as soon as i got to goal weight i would try to go for being a workout instructor. i wanted to feel comfortable in my skin and lead people in good health.

my deal was really behind fear...it wasn't that i needed to be at goal weight, it was that i needed to be confident. so, i've had the opportunity to face that fear. my workout instructor and friend is out on leave for a foot surgery she had, and now i'm subbing for her. it is quite the experience to watch your every move in a huge mirror. i do wish i was at my goal weight, but this is part of the journey. i love that there are classmates who are on this journey with me and that i'm not doing this alone.

my deal this week is to be okay putting my full health as a priority.