birds of a feather flock together

i was reminded of this saying when reading an issue of GQ. i was struck by a particularly interesting article, "'will you be my black friend?' one (very) white man's quest to expand his horizons."

the author, plamen petkov, had an interesting idea. he decided to post an ad on craigslist. he was looking for a black friend. as he waits for a response, he does some research.

'human connection should be spread evenly over all of us like a lywer of peanut butter on toast. only what it really looks like is a ball of yarn: everyone within a social network, real or virtual, is more or less connected to one another. your friends tend to be friends with your friends, or they will soon. and most networks are not connected to each other. your ball of yarn is your ball of yarn, it is discrete, and once you are inside it, it's hard to get out. '

the article continues. he decides to use a flyer. he had received a response from both forms of advertising. i think the encounters ended up bing more like awkward first dates/blind dates.

he also brings up homophily. that means that people are likely to be friends with those who are similar to them...birds of a feather flock together.

the article is interesting. there are a lot of things to think about for me. he said that this project is a product of 'living in a tiny, overdeveloped culture where the signifiers are too specific and the sameness of our lives has made the tolerances almost too slight to measure. even among white folks, my shit is pretty specific. that monoculture, where i don't even have to finish my sentences because everyone already knows what i'm going to say, where we have slightly different conversations about the same movies and music and schools and neighborhoods and restaurants and types of people - it wasn't until i was out of it fo ra few mintues that i realized the oxygen deprivation that kind of scrutiny can bring on. i am sick of worrrying about my pepper mill. '

the author has some really good reflections in light of the president-elect. he challenges us to step out of our bubble. he reminds us that we are still struggling with race or this wouldn't be a conversation. he encourages us to meet different people.

i'm hopeful that we can begin to embrace change in our own lives and see a new reflection of God's creation in those we are around. it's the invitation to conversion.