Seasons of Change

September has been a month of change. I feel like the past two Septembers, this one included, have been full of changes. I'm learning that change doesn't stop – how we respond to change is more important than trying to keep things the same.

Last September I moved out of my apartment and lived with two different families. I got married in October. And this time around this September marked the last month of employment at a place I worked at for five years. It was also a time that I celebrated two weddings. And then it's the month where dear friends are moving across the country. September is the month that welcomes a new season (fall).

What do you do to celebrate new seasons? I'd like to move towards celebrating new seasons rather than dreading them...

Woe is me.

Woe is me has never been a motto that has gotten anyone anywhere ever. And that's been the motto i've had for a few days. I got discouraged about a week and a half ago, I got hit with a cold/flu and couldn't work out and eat well. Well, I could've eaten better, but when I'm feeling down and out I let most of the things that could help me, go.

So, I got home from my freelance job (I love love love it) and took a two hour nap. When I finally woke up, I stumbled around the kitchen. Looking at the dishes that needed to be done I thought this in my head...no seriously, I think this.

I just need one more day and i'll be better. I'll snap out of this. 


Life is staring me in the eyes, transitions, frustrations, hopes, dreams are all staring at me waiting for me to participate, but I've cowered and thrown up a white flag of surrender and chanted woe is me.

But I'm done. It was like a switch flipped in my head, my posture, my thinking, my perspective. I'm done giving up. I'm done being passively involved in what's happening around me. I'm tired of not taking care of myself. (I realized that I was running on a deficit today when two of my best friends asked for some help and I told them (in more ways than one) that my issues were too much for me to handle. Yes, I need to tend to what's happening with me and not overextend myself, but there are certainly better ways to handle it i'm sure). Things at work were tough, i'm dealing with transitions of things there and of friends, I feel like I can't get back into eating well and working out (I ENJOY WORKING OUT)...and I sort of gave up for a few weeks.

But. I. Am. Back.

My head's in the game. And thanks for the prayers you nice people.

I think that courage is the theme I should focus on these days.

Deep breaths...deep breaths...gotta take deep breaths.

I am one week and one day before my last day at my current job.

Think of me, pray for me, sending me gentle thoughts.

Mandy and I reminisced on some of the past years we've shared together. We laughed so hard. I snorted. I had tears running down my face. I am incredibly thankful for the years that I was able to share with some of my closest and dearest friends.

When I get stressed, I turn to food. I wish I were that person who would turn away from food when stressed. But I am who I am.

I want to feel the feelings that are swirling around my head and my body. I don't want to ignore those feelings by numbing them with food. And I think i'll try doing that with deep breaths.

Swimming Lesson Update

So, one of the things I want to do before I turn 30 is become a better swimmer. I had my first lesson today at the Y. I highly recommend swimming lessons at the Y for all ages. Our Y offers two adult lessons. The first lesson is for beginnings and the lesson I took is for those who want to improve their strokes.

I didn't realize how comfortable I would be in the water. I didn't swim as much as I wanted to this summer :(. BUT I got in the water today and was at home.

The format was simple...the instructor had me explain my goals in lessons: to become a stronger swimmer, become more familiar with the various strokes and be able to swim laps. I wasn't super confident when I began my lesson, but when I started to show her how I swim, I was alright. (side note: i'm confident that Mandy needs to be a part-time swimming instructor). I made my way to the deep end on my own. I practiced breathing. I began facing some of my anxieties.

I'm afraid of drowning...when I see that movie Perfect Storm, I get the creeps. And you know me, I siked myself out of being confident in the water. I hope by the end of my lessons I'm a more confident person in facing tasks that I thought were too scary to face.

eating clean as a family

K and I were at a going away party for some dear friends last night. Talking to oen of our friends, I noticed that she seemed lighter in a number of ways. I asked her what she was doing...she was eating clean.

We talked about what that meant to her. I shared about the lessons i've been learning from the past few months. We talked about being emotional eaters. We had shared experiences with stress and food.

K and I made our way home and talked about what we want to do as a family.

And we want to eat clean. We've already started to eat more fruits and vegetables. Now, watching portions, choosing foods that are closer to their natural state and eating foods with ingredients we recognize...the SW household gotsa get our clean eating on.

What are you eating these days? Any good recipes?

A cleanse/a detox/a cleanse/ perspective

A few weeks ago, about three, I asked one of my dear and close and inspiring and supportive friends to join me on a cleanse. She introduced me to this cleanse that I just RUUUHAAAVE about to everyone.

The Quantum Wellness Cleanse.

I wanted to do the cleanse because I was entering into an emotionally volatile situation - my last month at my job. Since I'm an emotional eater, stress makes for an interesting meal plan.

The book is great, I highly recommend it. You avoid eating refined sugars, animal products, alcohol, gluten and caffeine. Basically, you're eating clean.

A week into the cleanse I enjoyed Labor Day and returned to the cleanse...and also a detox. I lowered my calories a significant amount (I do not recommend this).

A few nights ago I began reflecting on the cleanse/detox.

Things I like:

Good variety in healthy food
Portions
Wholesome ways of eating and losing weight....nothing drastic
Eating clean
And the elements of Weight Watchers!

I struggled returning to Weight Watchers recently...I knew how to trick the plan which doesn't work :) But I think that I have enough perspective and space to return. I'm not sure when i'll return to WW officially...gotta find a job or something first :). But I can use the things I've learned in these weeks and apply those to my life.

That's it.

My letter to Summer

Hey friends,

I was so happy to be able to write for a great and local website, Omaha.net. I'm a monthly contributor on things health and health and health. :)

Check it out here and let me know what you think...what would your letter to summer be?