Hard exercise dulls the appetite.

IT MAKES SENSE.
i knew this when i played sports in high school. i knew this when i would workout in college.

today i taught body attack and did a round of bridal bootcamp afterwards. it was bootcamp meets yoga. it was vicious and delicious.

i got home. forced myself to drink my favorite coconut milk. and i glanced at my breakfast i packed last night. drenched in sweat i dragged myself to get ready. i had no appetite.

until i got in my car to come to work.
low.
blood.
sugar.

and then i got to have my lovely oatmeal concoction. i'm determined that it will keep me feeling full until lunch...but after my two and a half hour workout i'm not sure.

i had oatmeal, a little shredded coconut, 1/2 c fiber one, 10 peanuts, a tbsp of peanut butter and a little bit of chocolate.

i.
was.
in.
love.

i ate slowly. and am full.
and am hopefully ready for the day.

so delicious

i love SO DELICIOUS coconut milk. here are the good things about it.

• Dairy Free / Lactose Free
• Soy Free
• Gluten Free
• Rich in Medium Chain Fatty Acids
• Excellent Source of Vitamin B12 (vegetarian friendly)
• Formulated for Maximum Calcium Absorption
• Cholesterol Free
• No Trans Fats
• Certified Vegan

when i get done from working out...like today. i sometimes have no appetite whatsoever. body attack in the morning wakes me up and takes my appetite. but i know i have to eat something pretty soon after working out. sometimes i just want a glass of this...i shower...and then i eat some oatmeal. so that's what i did this morning. body attack. coconut milk. and work. ii've enjoyed listening to my body to learn when i'm truly hungry and when i'm truly full. it's a good combination with weight watchers.

alright. here's to wednesday.

oh tlc

i think i might've found a title for my book. well, this book is hypothetical, but i have started a document for it. :)

but that's not what i'm writing about. i'm writing about TLC and my mostly hate relationship with them. after their stupid decisions surrounding john and kate plus 8 i've tried hard to ignore them as much as possible. then i get caught up in a few of their shows. dangit.

today i'm watching shows on obesity. and got angry. but not at tlc.

i'm watching this african american family. i'm not sure if there's a father figure in the story. but it's atleast a single mom with one morbidly obese 16 year old and then a few other children around the house.

this guy is 16 years old and she's resigned to the fact for him to get the weight off (he's over 550 lbs) she's going to get him surgery. get him surgery. she began to show her son what he wasn't going to have anymore. and he laughed. they get to the doctor's office for a check up and the doctor was disappointed. the kid hadn't stuck to his diet. the doctor said he wanted him to immediately stop eating these certain things and the guy basically said, i'll do that tomorrow.

i cringed the whole time. i wanted to be in the hospital room and ask his family...what is going on. it doesn't matter what drastic measure you do to address your weight, but if you don't address the actual reason for your weight gain then there's no reason for you to do anything. you can do the surgery, you can do the diet, but if you don't look at the emotional reasons for what you do or don't do regarding your health, nothing will change. sure, you might lose some weight or gain some weight, but you haven't been able to find the reason.

it breaks my heart to watch this show and this guy's journey. i know there are so many people's journeys that are similar...especially those in the african american community.

there's got to be a better way.

breathe.

take a moment. and breathe.
find your center. in silence.
and catch your breath.

okay. okay. you win.

i love oatmeal. when i have read kath eats real food she's been a master cook when it comes to oatmeal.

so this morning i decided to give my oatmeal a little love. after cooking my oatmeal, i put a tablespoon of peanut butter on the side and half of a 100 calorie dark chocolate bar. per kerf's recommendation, i didn't swirl the pb around. i've' done that before and it really takes away the pb taste. so, i take a little bit of this now melted and delicious peanut butter...eat some oatmeal...work...and then take some peanut butter and chocolate and oatmeal. this is the slowest i've eaten breakfast and i'm so proud! i usually am hustling out of the door stuffing my face with something. but, slowing down is the theme these days. with side of green tea with lemon. i'm good to go.

nom nom nom.

gulp

so. i've tried to figure out how to balance my work life and my personal life. i've seen how easy it is for my work life to dominate my conversations....and even my online conversations.

but today i have to blur the lines a bit.

i have an urgent need at work. out of the four years i've served at wmf my support account has always struggled. currently my support account is hovering just around -$4,000. if you've followed word made flesh, you've probably seen us do a lot of activities that we've put in place to try and generate energy for our support accounts. we've done pushups, we've almost cut our hair into mohawks, we had a dance party, we've had a photo show. we're all struggling here in the office.

i'd like to ask for you to consider giving towards my support account. beginning in october, i will be placed on support probation. that means if i don't get my support account into the positive (or make some pretty great strides to that) i will have to reevaluate receiving my salary via word made flesh and/or my full-time status here.

any gift helps, every prayer helps.
here's the link to give online. designate gifts for jara sturdivant.

and send me a message if you have any questions.
love. me.

a good sweat

there's nothing like a good workout to rid you of stress. i've been ridiculously surprised by the joy i've found in teaching classes at the Y. each week i teach about four classes. next week i'll manage to teach five classes and then do bridal bootcamp.

to go along with my renewed endurance, i saved and snuck a little money for a nutritionist consultation. i continue to do weight watchers, but i've been inspired by this blog and her dedication to health. in my journey i've found so many signs along the way that point me to full health and what it means to have full health as an african american woman.

i want to continue to learn about nutrition, physical and spiritual health and what it means in a body like mine and with a history of mine.

i love my curves, the junk in my trunk, and i'm continuing to work on it being as healthy as can be...and telling others around me how to find their own way.