i haven't done many christmas traditions since leaving home. when i lived with my family we would always decorate the tree after our thanksgiving meal. we would go through the ornaments and share the stories about them. it's always fun to put up the ornaments from our first christmases. i enjoy the parties, the excuses to wear funny sweaters, the evenings when we would do our advent reflection.
my family and i would always sing happy birthday to Jesus Christmas day and read the Christmas story in one of the gospels.
i appreciate the warmth that my family would provide during those times. it was bizarre the first christmas out of college. i didn't have the normal experience. mom sent me home with a little christmas tree one year and another year i got to have the christmas duck (it sang a song). i tried to incorporate little traditions into my home, but it was always a little hard on my own.
this year one of my friends is lending me her extra christmas tree. i was so excited. i plugged it in and it makes my apartment feel warm :). i'm going to spend the evening wrapping some gifts. i might try and see if kenley will make an ornament with me.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
signs of love
Signs of love
This weekend Kenley and I sat on his couch and talked with his landlord, Glenn, for almost two hours. During that conversation Glenn shared that he had a bad week. We asked if it was going to improve; he said it was going to only get worse.
Then he said that his wife passed away last week. Her funeral was yesterday, Friday.
We listened to him briefly share about her last week. She had some complications to a heart surgery and passed away at 7 am last Saturday. He said he was numb; we offered him wine and pistachios. It wasn’t much, but we sat with him and let him ask questions about our relationship. It seemed a little surreal reflecting on our relationship while sitting with someone who had just lost his spouse of fifty five years.
I couldn’t help but look at the obituary on the internet. There were comments from Texas, California, Tennessee and Nebraska. I gathered from the comments that his wife was a gardener and a devote lover and protector of nature. She was generous with her love and listening ear.
My weekend continued to be interesting. I thought about Glenn’s stories and observed signs of love played out in different ways.
This morning I was watching an older couple have a bit of a discussion. I think they were probably in their 70’s.
Lady: Bill, you can use your blanket to wrap around your ankles to stay warm.
Bill: I told you to stop telling me about that.
Lady: You could’ve said it nicely.
Later…
Lady: It is drafty in here.
Bill: Loud audible sigh.
It cracked me up for some reason. Years of love later, they’re still figuring it out.
I’ve seen lots of signs of love this month.
- generous support of my friends, family and coworkers
- fun, spontaneous baby holding of clive
- fun, spontaneous watching of amazing race with Julie
- bonanza viewing with kenley
- grape throwing/catching contest with kenley
- random errands and meals with friends
- lots of laughter
Winter is not a friendly month…it doesn’t show me much love. But, I think that my friends and family do. They keep me warm and keep me covered with love.
This weekend Kenley and I sat on his couch and talked with his landlord, Glenn, for almost two hours. During that conversation Glenn shared that he had a bad week. We asked if it was going to improve; he said it was going to only get worse.
Then he said that his wife passed away last week. Her funeral was yesterday, Friday.
We listened to him briefly share about her last week. She had some complications to a heart surgery and passed away at 7 am last Saturday. He said he was numb; we offered him wine and pistachios. It wasn’t much, but we sat with him and let him ask questions about our relationship. It seemed a little surreal reflecting on our relationship while sitting with someone who had just lost his spouse of fifty five years.
I couldn’t help but look at the obituary on the internet. There were comments from Texas, California, Tennessee and Nebraska. I gathered from the comments that his wife was a gardener and a devote lover and protector of nature. She was generous with her love and listening ear.
My weekend continued to be interesting. I thought about Glenn’s stories and observed signs of love played out in different ways.
This morning I was watching an older couple have a bit of a discussion. I think they were probably in their 70’s.
Lady: Bill, you can use your blanket to wrap around your ankles to stay warm.
Bill: I told you to stop telling me about that.
Lady: You could’ve said it nicely.
Later…
Lady: It is drafty in here.
Bill: Loud audible sigh.
It cracked me up for some reason. Years of love later, they’re still figuring it out.
I’ve seen lots of signs of love this month.
- generous support of my friends, family and coworkers
- fun, spontaneous baby holding of clive
- fun, spontaneous watching of amazing race with Julie
- bonanza viewing with kenley
- grape throwing/catching contest with kenley
- random errands and meals with friends
- lots of laughter
Winter is not a friendly month…it doesn’t show me much love. But, I think that my friends and family do. They keep me warm and keep me covered with love.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
birds of a feather flock together
i was reminded of this saying when reading an issue of GQ. i was struck by a particularly interesting article, "'will you be my black friend?' one (very) white man's quest to expand his horizons."
the author, plamen petkov, had an interesting idea. he decided to post an ad on craigslist. he was looking for a black friend. as he waits for a response, he does some research.
'human connection should be spread evenly over all of us like a lywer of peanut butter on toast. only what it really looks like is a ball of yarn: everyone within a social network, real or virtual, is more or less connected to one another. your friends tend to be friends with your friends, or they will soon. and most networks are not connected to each other. your ball of yarn is your ball of yarn, it is discrete, and once you are inside it, it's hard to get out. '
the article continues. he decides to use a flyer. he had received a response from both forms of advertising. i think the encounters ended up bing more like awkward first dates/blind dates.
he also brings up homophily. that means that people are likely to be friends with those who are similar to them...birds of a feather flock together.
the article is interesting. there are a lot of things to think about for me. he said that this project is a product of 'living in a tiny, overdeveloped culture where the signifiers are too specific and the sameness of our lives has made the tolerances almost too slight to measure. even among white folks, my shit is pretty specific. that monoculture, where i don't even have to finish my sentences because everyone already knows what i'm going to say, where we have slightly different conversations about the same movies and music and schools and neighborhoods and restaurants and types of people - it wasn't until i was out of it fo ra few mintues that i realized the oxygen deprivation that kind of scrutiny can bring on. i am sick of worrrying about my pepper mill. '
the author has some really good reflections in light of the president-elect. he challenges us to step out of our bubble. he reminds us that we are still struggling with race or this wouldn't be a conversation. he encourages us to meet different people.
i'm hopeful that we can begin to embrace change in our own lives and see a new reflection of God's creation in those we are around. it's the invitation to conversion.
the author, plamen petkov, had an interesting idea. he decided to post an ad on craigslist. he was looking for a black friend. as he waits for a response, he does some research.
'human connection should be spread evenly over all of us like a lywer of peanut butter on toast. only what it really looks like is a ball of yarn: everyone within a social network, real or virtual, is more or less connected to one another. your friends tend to be friends with your friends, or they will soon. and most networks are not connected to each other. your ball of yarn is your ball of yarn, it is discrete, and once you are inside it, it's hard to get out. '
the article continues. he decides to use a flyer. he had received a response from both forms of advertising. i think the encounters ended up bing more like awkward first dates/blind dates.
he also brings up homophily. that means that people are likely to be friends with those who are similar to them...birds of a feather flock together.
the article is interesting. there are a lot of things to think about for me. he said that this project is a product of 'living in a tiny, overdeveloped culture where the signifiers are too specific and the sameness of our lives has made the tolerances almost too slight to measure. even among white folks, my shit is pretty specific. that monoculture, where i don't even have to finish my sentences because everyone already knows what i'm going to say, where we have slightly different conversations about the same movies and music and schools and neighborhoods and restaurants and types of people - it wasn't until i was out of it fo ra few mintues that i realized the oxygen deprivation that kind of scrutiny can bring on. i am sick of worrrying about my pepper mill. '
the author has some really good reflections in light of the president-elect. he challenges us to step out of our bubble. he reminds us that we are still struggling with race or this wouldn't be a conversation. he encourages us to meet different people.
i'm hopeful that we can begin to embrace change in our own lives and see a new reflection of God's creation in those we are around. it's the invitation to conversion.
Friday, December 5, 2008
a passport is now needed
...
to enter the advocacy annex. the advocacy annex is where daphne, mandy, marcia and i work. we laugh. we cry. we giggle. we talk.
this morning we were out of the office. while we were gone, some one took some items.
the items in question are an entire box of chocolate and a bag of nuts. these items were a part of a gift basket sent to us from our printer.
i got a little mad about it.
it reminded me of the days of college when someone would leave their pizza out and people would eat it...that person would be upset...they would explain that the certain place they left the pizza was not a common place.
so. now.i wrote an IM to marcia about what will happen next.
jara: the annex is CLOSED to outside visitors. you must show a passport now
a passport to fun.
marcia: it will be harder to enter the annex than the country of Brazil
to enter the advocacy annex. the advocacy annex is where daphne, mandy, marcia and i work. we laugh. we cry. we giggle. we talk.
this morning we were out of the office. while we were gone, some one took some items.
the items in question are an entire box of chocolate and a bag of nuts. these items were a part of a gift basket sent to us from our printer.
i got a little mad about it.
it reminded me of the days of college when someone would leave their pizza out and people would eat it...that person would be upset...they would explain that the certain place they left the pizza was not a common place.
so. now.i wrote an IM to marcia about what will happen next.
jara: the annex is CLOSED to outside visitors. you must show a passport now
a passport to fun.
marcia: it will be harder to enter the annex than the country of Brazil
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
needy
i needed attention as a child.
what things did you do as a child to get attention?
elementary:
college:
i fell down to get a laugh.
some things never change.
what things did you do as a child to get attention?
elementary:
- i fell down on purpose on a video tape (watched over thanksgiving, pretty funny, can't wait to get my hands on it)
- i wore a 'retainer' aka a paperclip. i wanted braces.
- i wanted a cast. i wanted to break my hand. i ran into walls. hard.
- i pretended i was famous at rest areas. it didn't work.
- my friend left her glasses at my house...i decided i needed glasses. so. i wore them. and refused to return t hem to her. then i did.
college:
i fell down to get a laugh.
some things never change.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
up too late
i'm heading to bed soon. my eyes are tired. my heart and soul are tired.
i miss being on vacation. carefree weekends are good for me.
i saw a creighton basketball game this evening with mimi. creighton won. by a lot. and i can't wait to go to more games. i love competitive sports, both participating and watching. basketball is great because you don't have to sit out in the cold :)
we made the mistake of both wearing red...we didn't know red would be the color of the opposing team. whoops.
we'll wear blue next time around.
i miss being on vacation. carefree weekends are good for me.
i saw a creighton basketball game this evening with mimi. creighton won. by a lot. and i can't wait to go to more games. i love competitive sports, both participating and watching. basketball is great because you don't have to sit out in the cold :)
we made the mistake of both wearing red...we didn't know red would be the color of the opposing team. whoops.
we'll wear blue next time around.
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