my five senses: 30 second blog

today.
i SAW - a bird fall from an electrical wire after being electrocuted. (and it's the same location where i've seen two dead squirrels...hmm, faulty wiring or purposeful wiring by the church)
i FELT - the cool morning air on my run.
i HEARD - well am hearing great music brought to me by daphne. ratatat, beirut, the new sigor ros. yum.
i TASTED - a banana and oatmeal. banana was from my brother who lives here now.
i SMELLED - a portapotti. while driving back to the office i had my windows rolled down...and caught an extra strong whiff of bathroom by a construction site.

running : prayer letter style

Right. Left. My feet hit the pavement. Inhale. Inhale. Inhale. Exhale. Exhale. Right. Left. Right. Left. Breathe. I stretch my arms, trying to relax them; I’m running tense.

Lord have mercy. Names and stories float in my head as I speed past street corners. Burdens, victories, celebrations, gasps for air, weather - my constant running companions.

I imagine God looking down at me. I must look like a little ant, barely moving. I wonder, does God have a bird’s eye view of me? Watching me scramble up hills, crossing streets…

My thoughts trail off and I keep running.

Surrounded by God’s beauty and goodness. Trees full of leaves, rose bushes in full, sometimes surprisingly constant, bloom, clouds headed from storms, sun shining. No, God is here with me.

Lord have mercy. It’s been an hour and I’m still running. My thoughts travel to family members, to friends around the states, to our staff and those they serve among. I remember emails from friends about a sick loved one. Blogs outlining the tragic death of someone our staff serves among. Memories of prayers said around the table. Pictures of children I’ve met. Sadness I’ve carried.

Lord have mercy.

Those three words, this prayer, float around our office, our prayers, our thoughts, our homes, our cars, our runs, our walks.

I am learning to resist the urge to pray my solutions in situations. And I ask, I beg, I pray for mercy. I’m quiet. I hear my feet hit the pavement. My thoughts trail away from my running list of petitions and prayers. I release them at the feet of Jesus, knowing that He knows my prayers, I mean He’s already praying them, I just have to listen.

The past few months have been overwhelming. It’s been encouraging to receive your letters and emails letting me know that you all are praying for me. I’m finding more space to be, to read, to write. I’m finding myself again these days. I’m feeling much more caught up – even on sleep!

I am so thankful for your accompaniment in my life and in WMF. I can’t say it enough – we can’t do this without you. You are my companions.

You all lead me in ways of surrender, obedience, sacrifice, love. I’m following you, thank you for letting me watch your feet and try and keep up.

Right. Left. Right. Left.
love. jara

(a little secret bonus ☺ )
Because we write our prayer letters two weeks before the first of the month I haven’t actually run the half-marathon as of print. I’m two weeks away, well, actually, a week and six days. I finished my 9 mile run yesterday and my labored walk shows it. I look forward to telling you about it next month.

I’ve included some photos from some impromptu races I’ve scheduled with friends. I’m following a running program that includes a couple of races in the training. So, a friend and I (Rachelle – she’s in the picture with me on the end) scheduled some races – a 5k and a 10k. She will also be running the half marathon with me!

grumpy

i'm grumpy. i need to figure out how to put a positive spin on that term. i think that i voice my opinion when frustrated and sometimes it negatively affects my mood.

anyway. it's bee one of those days when it feels like someone has pulled everything from underneath me, then held it in front of me and then took it away and then held it front of me again and then took it away.

having kenley in omaha has been amazing. there aren't even words for it. i was at a dinner party tonight and looked over and saw him and thought, oh my goodness, he's right there.

i haven't had a chance to get used to kenley be here because my brother just moved to omaha today. if i write about it i will sound like a selfish bitch but i'd like to think of myself as an assertive woman who has finally figured out how to say what she means.

i was on the phone with my dad today and he told me that i need to be a good big sister and take care of my brother. and it just sat with me the wrong way. i've been trying to figure out what my responsibilities are as a sister....a daughter and a woman. is it my responsibility to drop what i'm doing to help my brother get adjusted? or is it my responsibility to let him learn and grow?

thoughts go in and out of my head about being a woman, sister and daughter. and they collide with my relationships. and i like it. i'm learning a lot about myself. and sometimes it's scary. it's scary to see a part of me i vaguely recognize....and it's fun to get reacquainted.

anyway. scrambled thoughts. bed.

my journey without meat

i became a vegetarian out of convenience as a 15 year old. i'd given up meat for lent over the years and though, hmph, i don't like red meat that much any way. and that choice turned into a lifestyle. i've had to explain and defend why i don't eat meat so many times it makes my head spin.

as a 15 yr. old i didn't have any good or particular reasons for why i didn't have meat. but as i've gotten older and have learned more, i do find that it is easier to explain. we in the states actually eat much more meat than we need. much more. and it's easy to say, oh i like meat, i can't give it up, it's so good...

but, consider this.

The worrisome news is that as the world economy grows, so does global meat consumption. The average person in the industrialized world eats more than 176 lb. of meat annually, compared with around 66 lb. consumed by the average resident of the developing world. As developing nations get richer, one of the first things citizens spend their extra income on is a more meat-rich diet. Whereas pork would once have been a rare luxury in China, today even the relatively poor in the country's cities can afford a little meat at almost every meal — so much so that pork imports to China rose more than 900% through the first four months of the year. In 2008, global meat production is expected to top 280 million tons, and that figure could nearly double by 2050. Producing all that meat will do more than just warm the world; it will also raise pressure on land resources....And of course, the human health impact of too much meat can be seen in everything from bloated waistlines in America to rising rates of cardiovascular disease in developing nations, where heart attacks were once as rare as a T-bone steak.

giving up meat, just once a week could make a difference!

It's true that giving up that average 176 lb. of meat a year is one of the greenest lifestyle changes you can make as an individual...The geophysicists Gidon Eschel and Pamela Martin have estimated that if every American reduced meat consumption by just 20%, the greenhouse gas savings would be the same as if we all switched from a normal sedan to a hybrid Prius.

these are interesting findings by various people. they are outlined by this article from TIME.

i know that we have the convenience of choices to limit what we eat, drive less/carpool, buy less....it really comes down to us being reminded that our choices affect those around the world and our planet.

childhood memories: 30 second blog

• i was terrified of quicksand. i mean terrified. even to this day i get a little nervous about it.
• i would cry during fire drills.
• i would inflict harm on myself by running into walls or other objects because i wanted to break my arm or knock my teeth out. (i wanted a cast and apparently a lot of attention)
  
• i remember when i had my first teeth fall out. i was swimming in a local pool and felt them in my mouth. i cried and asked my mom to put them back in; she didn't.

embarrassing moments as a child. 30 second blog.

• once i was going up for communion at the church i attended as a small child....once i returned to my seat, an older african american lady told me that my dress had been tucked into my pantyhose. that was a great time to tell me.
• i couldn't pronounce my R's correctly. gary turned into gawwy. hamburger turned into hambuwger. i couldn't pronounce jeremy - it turned into jawa-me...but i could pronounce jara. fascinating.
• i loved swinging. but i am one who also likes being motion sick. one sunday my dad took my brother and i to the park. i swang. then threw up in my dress. we went home that afternoon.

for real-ly real?

• i wonder why i liked klondike bars so much as a child. i saw a klondike bar commercial today and though, huh, that doesn't even look that good.
• i'm curious why i will still watch diary of a mad black woman after watching it a million times.
• and really. why does tbs play it so often.
• i love evenings around a meal.
• i'm so happy i was able to learn how to shuck corn with my boo.
• um. i'm SO thrilled that kenley lives less than a mile from me. YES. he moved here about 24 hours ago.
• my washer and dryer were moved from the wests' home and moved to kenley's. no more quarters.
• i managed to run 8 miles today. a year ago i would have never imagined i could run 8 miles without stopping.
• i love 3 day weekends. i mean. love them.
• i love taking photos. especially with other people's cameras. :)
• the magazine travel and leisure makes me smile.
• i do love the aux-plug in my car for my ipod.
• i'm so so so excited from this weekend. i'm looking forward to many more fun, full weekends ahead.