may prayer letter

May 2009

Dear friends,

Last night I couldn’t sleep. Water was dripping in my bathroom. I thought if I turned on the radio to NPR I would drown out the dripping. Instead I began to hear troubling news. I turned my radio off. I closed my bedroom door as much as I could and then I heard someone breaking apart cardboard boxes for recycling; it was past midnight.

I tossed and turned and thought about everything possible. Sleep found me around two in the morning.

I’m at work now and a bit of a zombie. I hear my body telling me to stop and rest. I also hear Daphne telling me that I’m going home for the afternoon. I might need to reread my last prayer letter. I think it was about resting in the midst of chaos…yeah, that sounds about right.

And it sounds pretty difficult. I don’t want to be in the midst of chaos anymore. To me, chaos represents no rhyme or reason, no beginning or end. To me, chaos looks like a gym full of children running around and playing an unending game of tag. And, to me, chaos feels like riding the Tea Cups at Disneyworld after eating a bag of buttered popcorn. Chaos doesn’t stop. And don’t quote me on my definition of chaos, I’m sure Webster wouldn’t approve.

So if I’m allowed, I’d like to make a Middle Year’s Resolution (it’s basically the same thing as a New Year’s Resolution, but it’s in the middle of the year). My Middle Year’s Resolution is for me to rest. I have a bad habit of always looking towards the next thing, the next vacation, the next event. And I’m not very good at just being in the present. Being in the present requires me to rest. I know I’ve talked about resting in different prayer letters and maybe even issues of The Cry, but this time my body is telling me to rest. Last month (April) I began to feel physical symptoms with my anxiety (insomnia, restless thoughts and others).

It’s time to rest. May is looking like a busy month so I need your prayers.

Daphne will be transitioning out of her role here at WMF and transitioning into her sabbatical. Please pray for our team as we consider what that means for our department and for us individually.

Also continue to pray for my financial support. My financial support has been a deep place of anxiety for me. My support account is still negative. I have seen God provide through many of you in these past months. I am thankful for the ways you have joined me in the ministry of WMF.

Pray that I rest in May. I don’t like chaos…I don’t like being in the midst of it.

Thank you for your prayers and support,
yours truly, jara