goodbyes

i don't prefer goodbyes. some people say...it's not goodbye, it's see you later.

that's bologna. and i'm a vegetarian so i'm not eating it at all.

tomorrow (friday) is brent's last day. brent is one of my dearest friends in omaha. he was a surprising friend. steph told me that he was an extreme introvert.

extreme introvert? game on.

we talked over meals, video games, movies, books. we had heated discussions about friendships, introversion, extroversion, directions, lisa's radial cafe vs. 11worth cafe. we laughed a lot. shared inside jokes. traveled. he convinced me not to give up.

he's been encouraging and inspiring.
brent lives his life with such integrity. i have deep respect for him.

there are so many memories i have of brent...i'll start with just a few. i'm sure i'll break out some more tomorrow.

- traveling to sri lanka together. we had a layover in hong kong. i was cranky and tired. and irritable. and couldn't be helped. hong kong was rainy and our traveling companions wanted to take a walking tour of the city. i didn't want to but we did. brent bought me a simple blue umbrella. i still have it. brent has a gentle way of diffusing situations, knowing exactly what people need.

- on that same trip we had a stopover in bangkok. during this stop, the flight attendants had to check passengers against luggage. we were both sleeping, but i somehow got woken up by their voices. they tried to wake brent up, but it wasn't working. with morning voice, i grumbled BRENT. my voice traveled two rows and immediately woke brent from his slumber. he identified his luggage.

- hearing some of his famous stories for the first time. immediately after hearing it for the first time i would ask him to repeat. he would.

- in high school i perfected the pouty lip quiver. i'm not sure what inspired it, but it is brent's kryptonite. there have been many times when i've convinced brent to let the office get icecream or to send me my support update...and all i've had to do is break it out. brent has a soft heart and sensitive spirit. i will miss that.

- i sometimes play video games. that was one of the things that i knew i could connect on with brent. my brother and i would spend hours figuring out how to finish video games. i spoke the lingo. so. brent became my video game partner. tony hawk. halo. rollercoaster tycoon. you name it.

- cooking. for awhile i tried to help brent eat healthier. he would buy the groceries and i'd make a meal and take it to work for him. that didn't last long. i did make pizza and lasagna.

moments of laughter

this week has been long. you can feel the weight of sadness around the office. brent's last day is tomorrow. it hasn't completely hit me yet. i had a breakdown last week. i won't go into the details but imagine a lot of tears.

so i'm tired. we're all tired. and a little scattered.

but today some things made me laugh.

- marcia's conversation with herself. she thought she was talking with mandy. mandy has noise-canceling headphones. you know how that ended.

- hearing marcia laugh and realize that she was talking to herself.

- my daily confessional with mandy. i like her a lot. i think we're more alike than we know.

- daphne's blog. short and sweet. i like reading my friends' blogs during the day. it gives me a good smile.

i love my department.

i'm sometimes a J

i won't get into the details of what it means to be a J or P on the myers-briggs test, but i will tell you why sometimes im a J.

i sometimes have the insatiable urge for everyone to know the rules and follow them. but at the same time i don't want any rules. but then again i get anxious when i think about world without rules.
i've never had a ticket. ever. well i had one parking ticket while parked at a university, but i got it dismissed. so today i'm working out of the office and parked somewhere that is for 2 hours of free parking. i watched the clock and at four i went out and moved my car one spot forward. i couldnt' bear to think i could get a ticket.

i have a lot of other J tendencies. i'm sure i will get into them later.

but now i need to work.

magazines

i love reading magazines. when i was a kid, i loved getting the magazine highlights. i loved looking through catalogs. i loved reading 'readers digest.' i particularly enjoyed reading the funny blurbs they had at the end of stories and the sections dedicated to funny stories. what could get any better.

as i grew up, i continued to read reader's digest and other magazines. in graduate school i decided to subscribe to my favorite magazines. my friend crocker found a great deal. i can't remember the name of it, university magazines or something. well, we were able to get some ridiculous number of magazines for some crazy amount. i venture to guess we were able to get 10 magazines for $20/year. yes $20/year. it seemed fishy, but it actually worked.

i remember getting overwhelmed by the amount of magazines i would received. rolling stone, seventeen, people (which comes out weekly) and many other magazines.

when i moved from memphis i had trash bags FULL of magazines that i just couldn't take with me.

so now almost four years after moving to omaha, i have subscriptions to some of my favorite magazines. gracious friends have gifted me some and i've redeemed miles for some.

- essence
- real simple
- cooking light
- women's health
- self
- the economist
- entertainment weekly
- paste

this week i realized that my list includes two magazines that are WEEKLY. one, entertainment weekly and the other, the economist! i'm losing a game of catch up very quickly. i've offered to give friends some of my magazines that i can't read or i've already read. i'm not sure what i was thinking. i have a huge pile of magazines and books. i should be a librarian.

to slow down the time

I'm up in the woods
I'm down on my mind
I'm building a still
to slow down the time

- bon iver. woods.

slow down, time. just for a minute. i want to look around and soak it in. but you're persistent.
this song makes me want to cry.

at last...

i'm a sentimental person. i get chills. i cry. i get emotional.

yesterday - what a day. i was privileged to sit with my coworkers and friends and watch the inauguration of president obama...wow i just wrote that!

there were a lot of emotions surrounding that day and our country's new season. i'm excited that people are hopeful and dusting themselves off. it's a new day. i could feel hope and change. and reality. obama isn't the messiah. we trust God to take care of us and guide us. my friend crocker had a great post about it.

one of my favorite parts of the day was celebrating at don and millie's with friends. ken and i talked about wanting to celebrate with friends. then the conversation got spread to others. and we decided...why not just go to don and millies and celebrate with friends, .99 margaritas, cheese fries and burgers. and that's what we did. i stayed about three hours. and others longer.

fun memories:

• 'cheering' with my drink and finley's drink
• seeing clive and his fun 'my mom loves obama' bib
• hanging with the nehers, hilary, beth, brittany, liz, lora, wendy, marcia, mimi, jessica, kenley, jonathan, brent and e'ryone else! and meeting richard?? is that his name??
• talking about who cried, what they thought about the speech
• remembering the poet who read her poem a little awkwardly
• aretha's bow/hat
• watching the obamas' first dance (that was beautiful, gave me the chills!)
• watching the other celebrating people at another table decide to turn the tv up reaaaaaaaaaaaally loud
• and then talking really loudly
  
• hanging with friends from different circles
• hearing second-hand about kenley's speech
• laughing
• .99 margaritas
• and being

what a day! what a day!

arm wrestling

one of the things i have to work on is spontaneity. so i spontaneously challenged marcia to an arm wrestling event. and then passed it onto the department. it helps with energy. i feel better now. weird, i know.

here are the current standings.

right hand:
daphne (won vs. mandy)
jara (won vs. marcia)
mandy (lost vs. daphne)
marcia (lost vs. jara)

next: jara v. daphne and marcia v. mandy

left hand:
daphne (won vs. mandy)
marcia (won vs. jara)
mandy (lost vs. daphne)
jara (lost vs. marcia)

next: daphne v. marcia and mandy v. jara

best line from the afternoon: daphne to mandy - you're not trying.