a diagnosis

I absolutely love my doctor. If you're in Omaha, let me know and I will recommend you a million times to Family HealthCare.

I've been feeling incredibly worn out lately. I wake up exhausted, I go through my day just as exhausted...and I can't seem to shake any weight off. This is not to be dramatic, but there were days that I was burning over 3000 a day and eating maybe 1500...and I would do that for a week. And you all know calories in calories out...3500 calories = a pound. I would have a deficit of 10,500 calories in a week...and with the math that would mean I should be losing 3 pounds a week.

But I wasn't. For the past two years I've gained and lost the same 10 pounds. Lots of rolled up fists, tears...pep talks, calories cut, exercise increased...but nothing.

The same story would show up on the scale and I would find more motivation and determination.

I thought I had hypothyroidism...but my doctor has a feeling that I probably am encountering what Crocker has mentioned in her blog, PCOS. I had some tell-tale signs of it before losing weight...but some of those signs are masked by my taking birth control every day.

So, enter what I have to do...PCOS, like what Crocker mentions in her blog, is really difficult to manage without weight loss, but PCOS makes it quite difficult to lose weight.

Now, I am encouraged to cut out sugars and starches, no bread, no rice...I will continue to get my carbs from fruits and vegetables...and I'm encouraged to exercise a little bit more. My calorie intake will lower from what it is at 1750...and my exercise will increase. Getting my weight down will help me manage PCOS...isn't that so weird that PCOS can do that to your body...gain weight yet make it hard to lose it...but if you lose it, you can shake PCOS off your back for a little bit.

Even though I was on the verge of tears in the doctor's office, I felt understood and heard...and I feel like my body and all of the inner workings of my body breathed a collective sigh of relief. I know that this won't be easy, but I'm encouraged with all of my friends and family who are working through their own health issues...

keep your head up...it inspires me to do it as well.

500th Post...

Just noticed that today is my 500th post on this blog...and what's more fitting than to repost a great blog by my mom:


Each morning, we have the opportunity to have a fresh start. As my pastor says, "We can look back, but we cannot go back." We can learn from the past, but we cannot live there... take advantage of each new day.

Fresh starts... Wanda is a dear friend who lives in Tennessee. Recently retired, Wanda has started a new business designing, making, and selling jewelry. In addition, to making jewelry, she also designs hats and is a talented seamstress. She has a vision...


In Omaha, Daphne and her best friend, Ann Marie are starting a new business. They will be making yogurt... I had a sample... I have mentioned the business in a previous post... The yogurt ...smooth...creamy... and made locally in Omaha. Young women with a vision, I wish them well. No matter the age, fresh starts are always available.

Welcome new beginnings, stay the course in your life, and finish well.

accidents move to shoulder

I saw a sign "Accidents Move to Shoulder" when driving on the interstate. It caught my attention after receiving a massage last week...I carry my stress in my shoulders.

That little phrase reminded me that a lot of times in moments of crises and times of trouble we push those moments away so we can keep going...and everyone else can keep going. We might glance to the side and notice what happened, wonder what happened....and keep moving.

I mean, of course accidents on the street should move over...but in our lives, we shouldn't discard the experiences and moments that trouble us...we shouldn't move them to our shoulders and just carry them. We should experience them and learn from them. And pay attention to them. Move those moments into your heart and experience them...don't let them get stuck on your shoulders.

freedom: thoughts on health

I have a tattoo on my left wrist...I've explained it before...my tattoo is FREEDOM in a beautiful font.

I initially wanted to get it when I got to my WW goal weight...I wanted to signify that I was finally free from this extra weight. SInce I hadn't gotten to my goal weight, I knew that I was supposed to get the tattoo...in health, there is no finish line, we're always in a journey and always looking for ways to live lives full of freedom.

I put the tattoo on my wrist because it's where there would be handcuffs...I've been chained to so many things in my life and have had to declare (and have had people tell me to declare) freedom. It is easy to go back to the same ways...and sometimes our past can keep us captive and prevent us from living in the freedom of the present.

I choose to celebrate the ways that I have found freedom...and celebrate the ways that I will continue to find freedom and declare freedom.

keep it up.

yes I do like the curl in my hair

I'm getting to know my hair more and more...it's a fascinating relationship, a fascinating and new relationship. I'm trying to put less processed items in my hair...and let it grow and grow and grow...and just drink in the nutrition that I may or may not have given it in the past years. I feel like myself more and more each day.

What are you doing in your life...what choices are you making that are making you feel more and more like yourself?

Thanks for the follows...

Mom has had more followers on her blog than I have...she actually blogs much more regularly than I do and I love love love love her blog. Thank you for following me...and if you want to read and get to know me a little bit more...and see who one of my inspirations is...check out my mom!

july 1

July has arrived. There's no slowing time down, but there is enjoying each second of the day.

Today marks eight months until my 30th birthday...244 days...i'm not counting or anything! :)

Here are some of the things that I'd like to do to celebrate my 30th day. (Nikki, how can I put my list on the side?)
I won't list out all 30 things now...I don't even know what they will be, but I think that I'd like to take a few at a time each month.

In July I would like to:
- Not watch Fresh Prince and SBTB every morning...but use my time in the morning to journal, prayer and read
- Make a savings plan
- Track my meals every day
- Write a chapter to the book I want to write about health, being a woman, and being a black woman
- Run outside

I'll be in and out of Omaha for July because of the staff gathering for WMF...so I'd like to really make sure that in the midst of a really busy few days that I'm able to still find ways to be healthy.