oh hello

i've forgotten both of my blogs. i'm sorry bloggy. i'm back. i'm enjoying winter so far - surprisingly enough. i've loved being married.

i'm still on this journey for full health. i've started an online Christian program that deals with addiction. i found it on someone's facebook profile and clicked on it. i have to admit i sort of went through all of the steps and got an account. then i immediately wanted to delete it. i couldn't find the delete button anywhere. shoot. so i had an account. and it was alright. i began, hesitantly, reading Bible verses and answering obvious questions. and then surprisingly, i saw things being uncovered in my life. i don't necessarily agree with everything about the program but i'm so happy that the Holy Spirit moves within us even despite us. in this journey you walk through 60 days with a mentor, each day filling out bible verses, reflecting on food, reflecting where you are. i've really been surprised at how i actually look forward to the mornings when i sit and reflect on where i am. my journey with food speaks to deep and dark places where i didn't invite God into...yet God continued to pursue me, every part of me....why? because God is love and God loves me. and i'm in this journey of allowing God love me and me loving myself. food has been my comfort in joy and pain and my friend in community and loneliness. but God has been there just as much, too, and even more. i choose God in my journey because God doesn't let me down. so i'm still journeying and i'm hopeful.