LORD, have mercy

i and two other coworkers went outside for three minutes. the sun is out and it's warmer than usual. we walked from the office's front door to a little patch of sun, talked a bit and walked back to the office.

now i'm sitting at my newly cleaned and organized desk and working on a number of projects. i see my immune system support offbrand medicine to my left. some lotion and lip balm for the dry winter. and then some scattered documents on the right. when i glanced over to the little organized piles of mess i caught a glimpse of a polaroid my friend courtney sent me. it's a shot of a vibrant green plant cozied up to a brick wall.

i've had a week like none other. at times i felt like celebrating and other times i've felt as if the walls were closing in on me. at one point i mentioned to kenley that i felt like i was losing who jara was. it was a frightening and overwhelming moment. and then it began to retreat. i feel it sneak up in waves and i have to take a step back and sigh. Lord, have mercy.

stepping out of the office for a moment helped. i was able to take a deep breath and enjoy the chance to interact with God's creation. i love the moment when you're able to be cool in one moment and then feel the warmth of the sun in the next. and i also love the beautiful ways people capture creation and beauty in photography. courtney is one of the best i know.

pray for me today as you think of it. i'm feeling the weight of the past months in a new and unusual way. pray for sustainability and that i'm not overcome in desperation.

thank you.

click here for a prayer that i like that a coworker, heather, posted.